Humor
My Dad was mowing the grass today. I looked out the window and saw him slumped over the lawnmower. Apparently, he was just going through a rough patch.
Who makes the best anteaters?
Uncle's... (Aunt eaters)
The popular girl told me, "I bet your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory!"
Two weeks later, she shows up pregnant.
...
I guess her rubber broke too.
What happens to chickens that get kidnapped by rapists?
They get choked.
Me scrolling through jokes that sum up my life, starts crying.
My friend: What’s wrong?
Me: Nothing, it's just so funny. Lol😂🤣😂
Memes
Yo mama is like train tracks; she gets laid all around the country.
Actor 1: "I'm Michael with a b and I hate insects."
Actor 2: "Where's the b?"
Actor 1: "THERE'S A BEE???????????!!!!!!!!!!!????????!!!!!"
Ironic that this page is dead.
What do you get when you dip a duck in blue paint?
A very pissed duck.
Did you hear about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.
What do you call yourself when you fist a midget?
A ventriloquist.
With the sentence "Die in Hölle," you can buy shoes in Germany.
What do you call a disabled orphan?
A left over vegetables.
I asked a person in a wheelchair if they wanted to fight. All I had to do is say, "Stand up!"
What's the difference between a newborn baby and an orphan after a rugby match?
They both come out bloody and crying, but at least one gets picked up.
Guy 1: Hey, can you stop making 9/11 jokes? My dad died during it.
Guy 2: Sorry, I will stop. What was your dad?
Guy 1: The pilot. He saw a KFC and wanted it, so, well, you know.
Hey, 2nd Amendmenters! Wanna know what gun Jesus used during his time?
What?
A nail gun!
When the North Tower saw the South Tower collapse, he would say, "I'm still standing."
Why was the leper hockey game canceled?
It was because of a face-off in the corner.
What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Holocaust victim?
Harry made it out of the chamber.