Ironic that this page is dead.
Humor
What do you get when you dip a duck in blue paint?
A very pissed duck.
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
Because the “P” is silent.
Did you hear about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.
What do you call yourself when you fist a midget?
A ventriloquist.
With the sentence "Die in Hölle," you can buy shoes in Germany.
What do you call a disabled orphan?
A left over vegetables.
I asked a person in a wheelchair if they wanted to fight. All I had to do is say, "Stand up!"
What's the difference between a newborn baby and an orphan after a rugby match?
They both come out bloody and crying, but at least one gets picked up.
Guy 1: Hey, can you stop making 9/11 jokes? My dad died during it.
Guy 2: Sorry, I will stop. What was your dad?
Guy 1: The pilot. He saw a KFC and wanted it, so, well, you know.
Hey, 2nd Amendmenters! Wanna know what gun Jesus used during his time?
What?
A nail gun!
When the North Tower saw the South Tower collapse, he would say, "I'm still standing."
Why was the leper hockey game canceled?
It was because of a face-off in the corner.
What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Holocaust victim?
Harry made it out of the chamber.
I like my women how I like my golf score: low in the 80s and with a handicap.
What dinosaur loves music?
The velociRAPtor!
Roses are red, violets are blue,
Get in the van, or I'll kill you.
What do you call a skeleton's omelet?
A bonelet.
I would tell you a joke about a slice of pizza, but it's really... cheesy. I donut think you will come up with a better pun than this.
I have a really good construction joke, but I’ll have to post it later because I’m still working on it.
