Humor
I'd make a masturbation joke.
But they always get out of hand.
Imagine you are getting eaten by an alligator. What do you do?
Stop imagining!
Child: Hello, I can’t find my dad.
Stranger: Oh, well when and where did you last see him?
Child: Oh, I remember, 5 years ago he went to get some milk here.
Why do skeletons like having sex with short girls before eating?
They like to bone a petite.
SAVE ORPHAN JOKES! SAVE THEM!
Memes
Explain Bear i hate you
Did anyone ever notice that "STUDYING" is a mixture of studying and dying?
My ex died in an anchorage accident.
She always was a sleeping hooker.
Boy: Will you remember me in a minute?
Mom: Yes.
Boy: Will you remember me in a day?
Mom: Yes.
Boy: Will you remember me in a year?
Mom: Yes.
Boy: Knock knock.
Mom: Who's there?
Boy: Bitch, you forgot me.
Girls: OMG what color should I use, baby blue, light blue, or navy blue?
Boys: blue is blue.
What is the difference between a guy with cancer and the Twin Towers?
Nothing, they both fell.
Why can't depressed people make depression jokes? Because they can't talk if they are dead.
Whenever I make a 9/11 joke, it bombs.
I went to a disco at a seafood restaurant the other day...
... And pulled a mussel.
Roast
You have such a big forehead it has a 6 pack on it!
Jokes are like your grandparents, old and dead.
BF: Babe, I have two questions.
GF: Ok, ask!
BF: Where have you been all my life?
GF: Aww, that's so sweet. And the second question?
BF: Can you please go back there?
What's an orphan's least favorite joke?
Dad jokes.
Who said white people can't jump?
Look at the footage from 9/11.
What goes hahaha bonk?
A man laughing his head off.
Why did the dwarf get a job at Lidl?
Because every Lidl helps.