Humor
I went to the orphanage and yelled "your mama" jokes.
From your mom.
I hate it when you say your life is a joke because a joke actually has meaning.
A feminist asked me how I view lesbian relationships.
Apparently, "in HD" wasn't a good answer.
Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.
Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.
Orphan joke club Discord coming soon.
I remember my grandfather's last words: "Is that loaded?"
What does an Asian doorbell sound like?
"Wing wong wung wang, wong wang wing wong!"
Yo mama so ugly, her portraits hang themselves.
Q: What's a pedophile's favorite type of candy?
A: Loli-pops.
I have a joke about chemistry, but I don't think it will get a reaction.
A friend asked what an acorn is.
I said, “In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree.”
What do asses and secrets have in common?
Both are better when not leaked!
Wife is texting husband:
"Honey, if I give you 300 dollars, will you stop being blind?"
Husband: "seilghsielguG"
Wife: "Seriously, David?"
Husband: "fuweyadb"
Teacher: Stand up if you think you are stupid.
After a while, a student stands up.
Teacher: So you think you are stupid?
Student: No, I'm not stupid. I just felt bad because you were standing by yourself.
Suck my dick!
(Ron Jeremy)
What's the difference between 5 cocks and a joke? I can't take a joke.
The wine taster at an old vineyard died. A homeless guy, looking ragged and dirty, came to apply. He persuaded the manager to give him a try.
The guy was given a glass of wine. He swirled, smelled, sipped, and spit. “It's a red wine, Merlot, three years old, grown on the South Slope and matured in oak barrels,” he said. "Impressive," said the manager.
The man is given another. “Still a red wine, Cabernet, eight years old, from the Northeast slope, stored in steel vats.”
The manager was amazed. He winked at his secretary. The secretary understood and brought out a glass of urine. The drunkard tasted it and said, “It's a blond, 27 years old, three months pregnant, and if I don't get this job, I'll tell who the father is!”
I have one policy, and that is to not make fun of black people.
Sorry, Jesus. You were white in the Bible pictures.
D: Johnny, Johnny.
J: Yes, Papa?
D: Eating sugar?
J: No, Papa!
D: Telling lies?
J: No, Papa!
D: Open your mouth, now full of cock. :)
Knock knock! Who's there? Deja. Deja who? Knock knock!