Humor
A collection of 911 jokes.
What kinda pizza did they order at 911?
Plane.
What was the color of 911?
Plane.
What is the fastest way to see 911?
Plane.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call daddy.
What did Papyrus say when Sans served spaghetti to Frisk?
BONE-Appetit!
What is an orphan's favorite flower? Self-raising. 😂
Roses are red. Violets are blue. You smell like shit. And you look like it too.
Memes
When God created women, it was an accident. He meant to make a man, but then "WHOA-MAN!!"
My friends hate when I make skeleton jokes. I guess I need to put more backbone into it.
what do you call a cow that fell?
Ground beef.
Knock knock. Who's there? Depression. Depression who? Depression you!
When you're driving past a graveyard say: "Wow, people were just dying to get in there."
How many dead babies does it take to put in a new light bulb? Not thirteen, cuz my basement is still dark. Let's try fourteen.
Your mum sat on a phone, and she turned it into a pancake.
what's worse than a baby in a trash can? A baby in two trash cans.
I got caught doing donuts in the parking lot, and I know what y'all are thinking.
Who names their dog Donuts?
I'd tell you a Kobe joke.
But I am afraid it wouldn't land well.
A man dies, and his friend is invited to his funeral.
This friend asks his wife, "Can I say a word?"
"Of course," she says.
The man stands up and says, "Plethora!"
The man's wife says, "Thanks, it means a lot!"
These jokes are nearly as dead as Steven Hawkings.
Sorry, I don't have a joke here... Just wondering how idiots end up here complaining about offensive jokes when you ended up here. You had to click that section on purpose, right? If you can't take it, piss the fuck off... If I'd be gay and I'd look up gay jokes and get offended... how stupid is that?
All school meeting introductions:
Grade School: “Welcome Girls and Boys!”
Middle School: “Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome!”
High School: “Fingerers and fingerees.”
So, I know that there are a lot of egg yolks on this website, and I guess I got beat to it, but I'm eggcited to say eggsactly what the eggs say.
I know I'm bad at this, but I hope you will crack up anyway.