Humor
Why don’t we just call blue balls a cummy ache?
A collection of 911 jokes.
What kinda pizza did they order at 911?
Plane.
What was the color of 911?
Plane.
What is the fastest way to see 911?
Plane.
My dad has the heart of a lion, and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
So you know those people that commit suicide by hanging themselves? I guess they lost Hangman.
What’s the difference between a priest and target?
Nothing, they both have children’s pants half off.
Memes
What do you call a mouse with sneakers?
Squeakers!
If you don't like orphan jokes, WHY THE HELL ARE YOU ON HERE??!!! WE DON'T ACCEPT YOU HERE!
If you saw an orphan, could you say where your parents at? And if they cry, just say, "hey here are your parents" then grab nothing. Perfect example.
What was Stephen Hawking's last meal?
Meals on wheels.
Emos are dark people....
...So why are they all white?
Goths are even darker...
SO WHY ARE THEY WHITER!?
What did Papyrus say when Sans served spaghetti to Frisk?
BONE-Appetit!
what do you call a cow that fell?
Ground beef.
What is an orphan's favorite flower? Self-raising. 😂
When God created women, it was an accident. He meant to make a man, but then "WHOA-MAN!!"
Knock knock. Who's there? Depression. Depression who? Depression you!
When you're driving past a graveyard say: "Wow, people were just dying to get in there."
How many dead babies does it take to put in a new light bulb? Not thirteen, cuz my basement is still dark. Let's try fourteen.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. You smell like shit. And you look like it too.
A man dies, and his friend is invited to his funeral.
This friend asks his wife, "Can I say a word?"
"Of course," she says.
The man stands up and says, "Plethora!"
The man's wife says, "Thanks, it means a lot!"
I'd tell you a Kobe joke.
But I am afraid it wouldn't land well.
I got caught doing donuts in the parking lot, and I know what y'all are thinking.
Who names their dog Donuts?