Humor

How does Stephen Hawking go to the toilet? He logs out.

Q: What do women and KFC have in common?

A: Once you eat the breasts and thighs, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.

Last time I got a piece of ass was when my finger went through the toilet paper.

Orphan jokes are like families, not everyone gets 'em.

(Also, I banged ya mum ;))

What do you get when you put a baby in a box of razor blades and throw it down the stairs?

An erection!

8008135 is my favorite number.

The worst ratio is 6:9.

And last but not least, "Why was six afraid of seven?" Seven eight nine. But why was six with nine? Because when you put them together, you get 69. But why was six mad at nine? Because Nine eight six, too.

There's 3 things I hate.

1. Jokes

2. Lists

3. Irony.

Did you know that Helen Keller had a dog?

Well, neither did she!

I can barely remember the last words my uncle told me.

"Let go of my nose!"

Q: How do you know an Asian person was in your house?

A: Your homework is done, breakfast is made, and your cat is gone.

My friend said onions only cry, so that's why I threw a coconut at him.

Yo mama so fat, survivors of the Titanic said a fat girl on the bow was so heavy, the ship started to sink, but when she reached the stern, the ship split.

What's the difference between an emo and a banana?

They both hang like apples.

What is the point of buttchins?

To catch flies.

Why is September 11th the best birthday?

Everyone remembers it! :)

I threw a lamp at a depressed kid and tried to brighten up his day.

Why can't orphans really play baseball?

Because when they do, all the other kids tell that joke that everyone has heard more than 50 times.

A friend called me a while back saying, "I have COVID.... I can't breathe, I really have a hard time breathing."

I reply saying, "Dude, you need to work on your George Floyd jokes."

I threw a lamp at a depressed kid. I was just trying to brighten up his day.

The emo tried to high five the tree, but the tree just left him hanging.