Humor
What do you call a mouse with sneakers?
Squeakers!
There was a woman from Ealing, she had a peculiar feeling. She laid on her back, opened her crack, and pissed all over the ceiling.
Emos are dark people....
...So why are they all white?
Goths are even darker...
SO WHY ARE THEY WHITER!?
What was Stephen Hawking's last meal?
Meals on wheels.
If you don't like orphan jokes, WHY THE HELL ARE YOU ON HERE??!!! WE DON'T ACCEPT YOU HERE!
If you saw an orphan, could you say where your parents at? And if they cry, just say, "hey here are your parents" then grab nothing. Perfect example.
I hate writing dwarf jokes, but I normally keep them short.
Your mum sat on a phone, and she turned it into a pancake.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call daddy.
Shit, I’m never gonna try to commit suicide again. I almost died!
Q. What makes music on your hair?
A. A headband!
My friend was told by her doctor that she was morbidly obese.
As if she doesn't have enough on her plate.
When you commit suicide in your house, that's suicide, but when you commit suicide outside, you failed your parkour.
What would be a good job for a fat person? A four-chin teller!
When God created women, it was an accident. He meant to make a man, but then "WHOA-MAN!!"
what's worse than a baby in a trash can? A baby in two trash cans.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. You smell like shit. And you look like it too.
Did you know that Americans fall out of both sides of the bed?
When is a rapist safe around children?
When his plans are oven ready.
My friends hate when I make skeleton jokes. I guess I need to put more backbone into it.
Knock knock. Who's there? Depression. Depression who? Depression you!