Humor
Why does Michael Jackson like twenty-eight year olds?
'Cause there are twenty of them.
Joke start.
Punchline!
The guy in the wheelchair at my gym can do so many pull-ups with the wheelchair on, but I said to him, "Don't skip leg day."
I used to date a girl with a lazy eye. Turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time.
Why is it hard to break up with a Japanese girl?
Because you have to drop the bomb twice for her to get it.
I would've made a joke about Alzheimer's, too bad I forgot about it...
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
Don’t orphans work at Dollar Tree?
Cause it’s a family business.
What do you call a toy that has a story?
Toy Story.
Guys, stop making jokes about blind people, they might s... never mind, continue.
Did you hear they made an Emo-Hipster pizza?
It cuts itself, and you're supposed to eat it before it's cool.
What is a leaf mixed with mud called? Ligma.
Ligma balls!
Elmo in 2022 is called "Tickle My Balls Elmo."
What do you call a suicide bomber under the water?
A bath bomb.
Me: Dark humor jokes are like a mother's love.
Orphan: How come?
Me: You wouldn't get it.
Orphan: . . . .
What's an Asian's favorite food place?
Answer: Petco
What is the difference between a woman and my fridge?
Only one moans when I put my meat in it.
Have you played the game Imagine Dragons? Imagine draggin' deez nuts!
My wife and I have reached the decision that we do not want children.
If anyone does, please comment your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
ROBERT LEWANDISNEY SONG
Give me freedom. Give me fire. Give me contract, Or I retire.
Jog all day, Out of UCL now. FC Barcelona, I need you now.
Villarreal defenders, They surround me. Big submarines, All around me.
I get upset. Call my agent. I want money. I’m impatient.