Humor
My girlfriend and I often laugh about how competitive we are... But I laugh more.
Doctor: "Does your penis burn after intercourse?" Patient: "I don't know. I never tried lighting it."
Why did the farmer's wife chase the chickens out of the yard?
'Cause they were using fowl language!
What do you call someone who takes care of chickens?
A chicken tender.
I would tell a 9/11 joke, but it would probably go up in flames.
What do you call six gay men at war? Rainbow Six Siege.
I went to a girl and I said, "DEEZ NUTS!"
Man: Stop with these orphan jokes!
Me: Why? Are they going to tell their parents on me?
I say hi to Sans. Sans shows his hand and says, "It's hand to meet you," and we both laugh.
How did the Germans conquer Poland so fast? They marched in backwards and the Polish people thought they were leaving.
Why couldn't the kid go rock wall climbing?
Because every time he moved his leg upward, his prosthetic leg fell off.
What's sad and has no life? The person reading this.
A dad asked his son what kind of cake he wanted for his birthday, and he replied, "How about a urinal cake?!"
Good (DYM 92).
Uh oh, stinky!
Male Patient: So, I just pull my pants down and bend over for this prostate exam?
Doctor: Yep.
Male Patient: Ok, I'm ready. Hey! That doesn't feel like a finger.
Doctor: Yep, and I'm not even a doctor.
A man boards a plane with six children of various ages.
After the plane takes off, a woman sitting behind the man asks him, “Are all of them yours?”
“No,” the man responds. “I work for a condom company and these are some of the customer complaints.”
What does a priest hold on to when having sex?
He holds on to the schoolbag.
The guy who made the knock knock joke deserves a no-bell prize.
I would've made a joke about Alzheimer's, too bad I forgot about it...