Humor
"Discuss the synopsis of this poem: My Friend Billy Has A Ten-Foot Willy."
Thanks to an unfortunate typo, it's the most one-sided action movie ever.
Alen vs. Predator.
Husband: Hey honey, words canβt describe how beautiful you are.
Wife: Aww, thanks.
Husband: But numbers can. 0 out of 10.
What does the cross guard say to the cows crossing the road?
Mooooooooooo along!
Why did the cowboy put his bunk in the fireplace?
'Cause he wanted to sleep like a log!
Memes
crazy anal sex
What do you call a Russian pharmacist?
"Ivan Astichestykov."
Did you?
Why is the eagle a bird with many skills? Because itβs talon-ted!
Why was the turtle looking at her phone?
She wanted to take a shellfie.
I just stepped on a corn flake. I'm officially a cereal killer.
It's not surprising there isn't a whole lot of good tree jokes.
Most foresters have a wooden personality.
Why did an orphan kill ET?
To phone home.
What do you call a man that has no arms, no legs, and sits in front of your door? Mat.
Famous last words: I COULD EAT THIS IN ONE BITE!
Why were the 1800s so crazy?
Because of Hairriet Tubman.
I only made so it's the 69th in the hair category.
What do you call a lady with a pyramid on her head?
mummy
My wife and I have reached the decision that we do not want children.
If anyone does, please comment your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Why can't bugs drive... because they don't have a LICE-ens...
BA-DUM CHHH!
Q. What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A. A gummy bear.
Q. What monster plays the most April Fools' pranks?
A. Prankenstein.