Humor

What's black and screams?

Stevie Wonder answering the iron.

Why are cows such great dancers?

They have all the best moooves!

Broke my toenail yesterday. I'm now presenting you puns/jokes:

1. "Yeah, I broke my toenail, wanna see phoTOES?" 2. "I'm tired of bandaging my toe! Oh. My. GAUZE."

I did so much research that I got bone-tired from doing this, tibia honest. You probably didn't find that humerus. I got a skeleton of these puns. I guess I could learn a femur puns. I was wondering if the creators of this site could talus how they come up with puns or maybe give some advice? I'm only 14 years old.

How was copper wire invented?

Two Jewish people fighting over a penny.

My dad told me to do what he did best, so I left.

I got some new jeans yesterday, until I realized they didn't fit me around the waist, so I went looking for a belt. I couldn't find one. Then I had a really good idea. I could attach a ton of watches together to make a belt! But then I just thought it was a waste of time.

What's a similarity between blondes and a vacuum cleaner?

You have to turn them on before they start to suck.

When is a piece of wood made king?

When it's a ruler.

What do you call a banana eating a banana?

Canabananalism.

Son: Can I go to my friend's mum? Mum: No! Son: Dad was right, I am a son of a bitch! Mum: Bad news, but you're adopted!!

What does a depressed person and a fashion enthusiast have in common?

They both have something hanging in their closet.

How do you make an adopted kid bleed? ... Tell him to clap until his parents come back.

Last night, I burned an orphanage. There was one survivor who said I would regret it. I said, "What are you gonna do? Tell your parents?"

Question: Why did Donald Trump convert to Judaism?

Answer: Because he heard that Vladimir Putin likes to drink vodka with "Orange Jews"!

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Spell.

Spell who?

W. H. O.

Crispy, Juicy, Tender, I just put my new-born son in a blender.

Whenever I have diarrhea, my roommate gets constipated.

When I told him this, he said, "Are you kidding me?"

I said, "I shit you not."

I hate this. Everybody knows it's how I roll, if you jump into my van you get a Tootsie Roll. My uncle said this...

My grandpa unplugged the AC, so I unplugged his life support.