Humor

Yo mama so ugly, her portraits hang themselves.

What did the other traffic cone say to the other?

"Look away, I'm changing!"

Aren't paraplegics just plegics who can fly?

Good (DYM 92).

What do you call a short cow in tall grass? Udderly tickled :)

Why does the mushroom 🍄 have many friends?

Because it’s a fungi.

What's a skeleton's favorite food? Spare ribs.

What did Papyrus say when Sans served spaghetti to Frisk?

BONE-Appetit!

A poster for the winter relief fund reads: "No one should be allowed to go hungry or suffer from the cold." A worker says to his friend, "Now were not even allowed to do that."

Why don’t mountains take things seriously?

Because they’re hill areas.

What do you call Dr. Disrespect on top of a building?

Diddler on the Roof.

The person to make the first cannabinol cookbook had a wife and ate (eight) children.

Did you know Paul Walker had dandruff? Neither did I til I seen his Head and Shoulders on the dashboard.

My girlfriend and I played Russian Roulette once.

We had sex afterwards even though she lost.

My relatives always teased me during weddings, saying, "You'll be next!"

But they stopped when I did the same to them during funerals.

What did the mother say to Michael J. on the beach?

"Excuse me sir, but you're in my son!"

Your hairline looks like someone tried to erase it using Microsoft Paint.

So I was playing on my phone, and my mom said to go and take the trash out, so I pick up my sister and threw her in the garbage bin and said, "Mom told me to." And when I came back in, my mom said not to do that ever again, but then I told her that she says not to lie, so I was doing the right thing. 👍

I know this isn't the real chicken wing song, but my version...

"Chicken wing, chicken wing, I want your mommy. Slap her with my hairy salami while she's still yawning."

Make your own chicken wing song and put it in the comments... :)

What did one tree say to the tree that was a bully? "LEAF me alone."