Humor

Why did Kayla go to the river when she was sad?

To drown herself.

I want to die like my grandpa, with a blindfold and a wet sponge on his head.

I'm a rapist.

bradley

I piss on blind kids and tell them it's raining.

I guess that corn is a-maize-ing.

What do you call a group of cops having a sleep over?

Pigs in a blanket.

What do you say to a guy with Down syndrome who’s on top of a sky scraper? "Jump!"

My grandpa unplugged the AC, so I unplugged his life support.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Spell.

Spell who?

W. H. O.

I was in Russia listening to a stand-up comedian making fun of Putin.

The jokes weren't that good, but I liked the execution.

Why don't orphans get offended by dark humor?

Because it can't hit home.

Why do orphans hate knock knock jokes?

Because there is never anyone at the door.

How do you know a cannibal picnic is over?

Everyone's eaten.

What's an orphan's favorite part of a website?

The homepage.

Why does the mushroom 🍄 have many friends?

Because it’s a fungi.

What do you call pasta that’s made by a skeleton? A CREEPYpasta! (It’s my first one, lol)

Man walks into a bar and sees a bear serving drinks... Sits down looking astonished. The bear says, "what's the matter you never saw a bear serving drinks?" The man says, "it's not that, I just never thought the moose would sell the place."

I was thinking of a good accident joke, and I asked my sister. She said, "you."

What time is it when you can drive a house? Time to get a wheelchair.