Humor
I came here to laugh.
I walked into the party and the host asked me if I would like a slice of pie.
I responded "yes," and he said: "okay, 14159."
Where do fish keep their money?
In a riverbank!
If there is a divorce in West Virginia, are they still brother and sister?
Why did the skunk 🦨 sleep 💤 under a car?
Because he wanted to wake up oily.
What do lesbians cook for dinner?
They don't, they just eat out.
Q. What does Kenny get when he hugs his mom?
A. A boner.
Why does a woman never set boundaries with a Mexican? Cause they will always cross it.
If I had a spray can, I would spray it on your ass. Because the instructions say to spray on flat surfaces.
What's flat chested and emo? A cutting board.
Why does dark humor love orphans? Because the humor killed their parents.
Yo mama's so fat, when she skips a meal, the stock market drops.
Hey, what is the difference between a painting and a wife?
Only the wife was hung up.
What do Princess Diana and a landmine have in common? Both are easy to lay. Both costly and time-consuming to get rid of.
What did Saint Peter say to Diana when she got to the pearly gates? "Wipe that Merc off your face."
What do planets use to download music?
Nep-tunes.
- Yo mama is so fat, when she wears a yellow dress, people yell "Taxi!"
- Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to climb Mountain Dew.
- Yo mama is so ugly, she made a blind kid cry.
- Yo mama is so old, she knew Burger King when he was still a prince.
- Yo mama is so poor, she can't even afford to pay attention.
What's a cannibal's favorite dessert?
Lady fingers.
How do you know a hippie is on her period?
Her socks are missing.
How do you know she's off?
Her socks are tye-dye.
What do you call a cup with a handle?
A mug! HAHA ha... My parents just got a divorce :(
What's blue and doesn't weigh much?
Light blue.