Teacher: At the end of this ruler is an idiot.
Student: Which end?
Ruler Jokes
Who was purple and wanted to rule the world?
Alexander the Grape.
The teacher of the ELA class said that whoever answers this next question gets to go home. Then a kid sitting next to the window threw his bag out the window. Teacher asked who threw that, he said, "Me, I'm going home." Before he could move the teacher pointed a ruler at him and said, "At the end of this ruler is an idiot," he got suspended for asking which end.
Why is North Korea so good at Geometry?
Because they have a supreme ruler.
When is a piece of wood made king?
When it's a ruler.
Why's it called a Caesar Salad?
'Cause Caesar ruled the romaines.
Cesar: What was that good salad called?
Servant: Ceaser, Cesar.
Cesar: Okay, what's going to be the weather like?
Servant: Hail, Cesar.
Cesar: Yes, I know "Hail Cesar," but I need to know what the weather's like!
Servant: Well, it's hail, Cesar.
Cesar: AHHHHH! Send him to the DUNGEONS! NOW!
Sans: “pokes brother with ruler”
Papyrus: Sans, what are you doing?
Sans: Measuring your patience.
Papyrus: Grunts
The Ruler of Varvona wanted a fruitcake, but his subjects showed up at his castle with a Christian instead.
And he said: "NO, NO, NO! YOU IMBECILES! NOT THAT KIND OF FRUITCAKE!"
Your mama is so stupid that she put a ruler under her pillow to see how long she slept.
What's the easiest way to get straight A's? Use a ruler.
I am your leader.
Why can North Korea draw a straight line? Because they've got a supreme ruler.
Who is king of the insects?
The Monarch.
What is the leader of the school supplies?
The ruler!
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
She looked at me surprised.
(P.S. I am not at that age plus I am as straight as a helix ruler.)
What's the king of all school supplies? A ruler.
What's a flower's favorite drink at the movie theater? Root Beer.
What's a cow's favorite place to go during his free time? The Moooovies.
What's one piece of stationary gay kids always forget to bring to school? A ruler.
What did kings say when they were made king?
Allah ail (All hail) [insert name here]!
Yo mama so dumb, she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept!