Ruler

Ruler jokes

Hitler

    • My history teacher asked my class what time they would go back to just to see what happened.

    I said I'd go back to Hitler's childhood to tell him the lies that he becomes the ruler of the world by starting the Nazis, and leave his death out of the discussion.

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    • School

    • This isn't a joke, just an American back-to-school list.

    1. Pencils

    2. Binders

    3. Paper

    4. Pencil sharpener.

    What, did you think I was going to make a school shooter joke?

    Ruler memes

    School

    • The teacher of the ELA class said that whoever answers this next question gets to go home. Then a kid sitting next to the window threw his bag out the window. Teacher asked who threw that, he said, "Me, I'm going home." Before he could move the teacher pointed a ruler at him and said, "At the end of this ruler is an idiot," he got suspended for asking which end.

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    • Day

    • One day at school, little Johnny was not listening, so the teacher came up to him.

    Teacher: "At the end of this ruler is someone dumb."

    Little Johnny: "Miss, which end were you referring to?"

    King

    • What did kings say when they were made king? Allah ail (All hail) [insert name here]!

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    • Baseball

    • Few jokes (sorry if they have already been used).

    1 I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

    2 Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Because he always has a great fall.

    3 Have you heard the one about the skunk? Never mind, it really stinks.

    4 It's always windy in a sports arena. All those fans.

    5 What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course!

    6 Comic Sans walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your type here."

    7 What's the easiest way to get straight As? Use a ruler.

    8 Why were they called the Dark Ages? Because there were lots of knights.

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    • Salad

    • Cesar: What was that good salad called?

    Servant: Ceaser, Cesar.

    Cesar: Okay, what's going to be the weather like?

    Servant: Hail, Cesar.

    Cesar: Yes, I know "Hail Cesar," but I need to know what the weather's like!

    Servant: Well, it's hail, Cesar.

    Cesar: AHHHHH! Send him to the DUNGEONS! NOW!

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    • Fruitcake

    • The Ruler of Varvona wanted a fruitcake, but his subjects showed up at his castle with a Christian instead.

    And he said: "NO, NO, NO! YOU IMBECILES! NOT THAT KIND OF FRUITCAKE!"

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