Humor
Why did the rape victim think it was Christmas?
Because her clothes were torn off like wrapping paper.
A man died and went to heaven. Every time you cheat, you get a worse car.
The first man cheated 5 times; he got a Jeep. The second man cheated 3 times; he got a BMW. The third man never cheated; he got a Lamborghini.
The second man saw the third man sad. He said, "Why are you sad?" The third man said, "I saw my wife with a scooter."
Everyone laughs when a bully teases someone, but no one laughs when that person commits suicide.
I'd make a joke about an obese person, but it won't work out.
What do you call a Chinese man in the heat?
Boi Ling.
Memes
my goofy ahh uncle
How do you get 500 babies in a phone booth?
A blender.
How do you get them out?
A straw.
I am about to make a joke about cake. You butter believe it.
What do you call a fish with no eye?
Fsh.
What did the fat man say as he entered Nagasaki?
Nothing, he just exploded.
There is a thin line between death and life!
You won't live to see it.....
The Cardiogram will!!
Michael Jackson is pure cheese.
I mean, Jacko comes on a little cracker.
What did the orphan say to his parents? Nothing, cause they left him.
Did anyone get my joke? It probably flew over your heads, oops I meant through.
I figured out why everyone is buying toilet paper. Because a huge rock is headed towards Earth, and paper covers rock.
What's a school shooter's favorite flower?
Columbine.
God creating bees.
God: "Put a needle on their butt."
Angel: "Come on, God, wha-"
God: "Make its puke delicious."
Angel: "WTF"
What do you get if you eat 3.14 cakes?
Fat, you get fat.
What? Were you expecting a pi joke?
Did you hear about the guy who got a tattoo of an octopus?
He got inked up.
What do you call terrible milk?
Udder Bullshit.
what's the difference between an onion and a baby?
nobody cries when you cut up the baby.