Humor
God creating bees.
God: "Put a needle on their butt."
Angel: "Come on, God, wha-"
God: "Make its puke delicious."
Angel: "WTF"
What do you get if you eat 3.14 cakes?
Fat, you get fat.
What? Were you expecting a pi joke?
Did you hear about the guy who got a tattoo of an octopus?
He got inked up.
What do you call terrible milk?
Udder Bullshit.
How do you stop a baby from drowning?
-Lift up your foot.
Memes
SO @JusTlivInG wanted me to do some Yo Mamma Jokes
As an Autist, I find these jokes really funny. Thanks for the early 13th birthday present, ya'll :>
Doctor: "Does your penis burn after intercourse?"
Patient: "I don't know. I never tried lighting it."
what's the difference between an onion and a baby?
nobody cries when you cut up the baby.
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer.
It never gets old.
What's an alien's favorite computer key?
The space bar!
What did the green light say to the red light? - Don't look, I'm changing!
What do you call an idiotic cow?
A mis-steak!
Why did the silly girl put sugar under her pillow?
She wanted to have sweet dreams. 😂
What does Stephen Hawking say after sex? That was wheely good.
What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
You can't hear an enzyme.
So, a blind guy is sitting on a park bench with his seeing eye dog right beside him. Suddenly, his seeing eye dog cocks his leg and pisses all over the blind guy's leg. So the blind guy gives the dog a treat.
A man taking a walk saw the entire thing and said to the blind man, "That is the most charitable thing I’ve ever seen, your dog deliberately pissed on you and here you are giving him a dog biscuit." The blind man says, "Oh it’s not what you think, I’m just trying to find his head so I can kick him in the ass."
Life is a try not to kill yourself challenge.
What do you get if you cross diarrhea with incest?
I don't know.
Neither do I, but it runs in the family.
Hey, I know this is a classic joke but I found it pretty funny!
"My name is 4, four like the number," my friend said. "What, was 1 2 3 taken?"
I can even with it but I was bored and decided to share this.
I once told Siri, "Hey Siri, why am I still single?" She opened the front camera.