Humor
What was Stephen Hawking's last meal?
Meals on wheels.
I have a really good construction joke, but I’ll have to post it later because I’m still working on it.
Knock knock. Who’s there? We ask the questions!!!!!!!!
Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms.
What did Sarah get for Christmas? I dunno, she hasn't opened it yet.
Knock knock...
Who's there?
Not Sarah.
A blondie and a redneck jumped off a building. Which one will land first?
The redneck because the blonde will ask for directions.
I didn't trip and fall... I attacked the floor, and I believe I am winning :3
What's an EMO's favorite game?...... DARK SOULS
Enough of the sex jokes! I mean, come on, they are not even funny!
Did you hear about the bad joke? No? It hasn't been made up yet. HAHAHAHAHAHA
You're probably getting tired of these gravity jokes... but I keep falling for them every time.
What’s the difference between an epileptic corn shucker and a prostitute with diarrhea?
The epileptic corn shucker “shucks between fits”...
All these jokes really hijacking my mind.
A millionaire LOVES alligators and filled his pool full of alligators. One night he has a party and says, "Whoever can swim from one end to the other of the alligator infested pool unharmed will get a prize, my daughter or a million dollars." Some people line up but they are hesitant. One man gets in the water, swims from one end to the other unharmed, and went to the millionaire. The millionaire says, "Wow, I can't believe you did it! So what's your prize?" The guy says, "I don't care about the million dollars or your daughter, I just want to know who the b@$*ard was that pushed me in the pool!"
Wife: Honey! Do you like tea?
Husband: No, I like after "T"!
It means: the letter "U": you!
Q. What's the difference between Trump and a Teletubby?
A. The Teletubby is a lot more coherent.
A middle schooler and his dad were at a drugstore. The boy picked up a pack of 3 condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for high schoolers: 1 for Friday, 1 for Saturday, and 1 for Sunday." The boy then picked up a 6 pack of condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for college students: 2 for Friday, 2 for Saturday, and 2 for Sunday." The kid then picked up a pack of 12 condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for married men: 1 for January, 1 for February..."
I went to the orphanage and yelled "your mama" jokes.
From your mom.
A cardboard belt is a waste of paper.
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
Because the “P” is silent.
Best joke ever.