Humor
Everyone laughs when a bully teases someone, but no one laughs when that person commits suicide.
What do you call an idiotic cow?
A mis-steak!
What do you call a sheep on steroids? A woolly mammoth.
I am about to make a joke about cake. You butter believe it.
I'd make a joke about an obese person, but it won't work out.
How do you get 500 babies in a phone booth?
A blender.
How do you get them out?
A straw.
What do you call a Chinese man in the heat?
Boi Ling.
There is a thin line between death and life!
You won't live to see it.....
The Cardiogram will!!
What do you call a fish with no eye?
Fsh.
Michael Jackson is pure cheese.
I mean, Jacko comes on a little cracker.
What did the orphan say to his parents? Nothing, cause they left him.
What did the fat man say as he entered Nagasaki?
Nothing, he just exploded.
What's a school shooter's favorite flower?
Columbine.
God creating bees.
God: "Put a needle on their butt."
Angel: "Come on, God, wha-"
God: "Make its puke delicious."
Angel: "WTF"
What do you get if you eat 3.14 cakes?
Fat, you get fat.
What? Were you expecting a pi joke?
Did you hear about the guy who got a tattoo of an octopus?
He got inked up.
what's the difference between an onion and a baby?
nobody cries when you cut up the baby.
I'm telling my kids that in 2020 I survived world war 3, the zombie apocalypse, the invasion of the murder hornets, and the second American revolution.
Doctor: "Does your penis burn after intercourse?"
Patient: "I don't know. I never tried lighting it."
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer.
It never gets old.