Humor
"Have you taken a bath?"
"No. Why, did one go missing?"
(1968) - Hellen Keller died, didn’t you hear?
No?
Well neither did she.
Did you hear about the cemetery? I heard that people are dying to be there.
How long does it take to blow up a baby in the microwave?
I don't know, I close my eyes when I masturbate...
What’s a nun's weapon of choice?
Nun-chucks.
What did The Notorious B.I.G. say to the cow?
- MOO MONEY MOO PROBLEMS
This website hahahahahahaha!
Stop with the 9/11 jokes, people. They're just not gonna fly.
How do you know when you're disliked?
When they always give you the camera for group photos.
What do kids with cancer and cancer jokes have in common?
They never get old.
My crush: OMG, my dog just died!😭😭😭😭😭
Me: Oh my goodness, I am so sorry. I am here for you!
My crush: I have a boyfriend...🙄
Me: Yeah well, I have a dog.
Why did the strawberry 🍓 go out with a banana? Because it could not find a date.
What do you call a Chinese rich man? Cha-ching!
What planets do Astronauts like to pee on?
Uranus!
(Say this out loud and it will make more sense.)
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun? Special forces.
Why is Jeffrey Epstein so bad at races?
Because he comes in a little behind.
- What did the skeleton say to his friend?
- Actually... TIBIA honest, I don't know how to complete this joke...
A friend was doing bird puns on me. Then I realized that toucan play at that game.
Why was Helen Keller so bad at driving?
Because she's a woman.
VOTING SEMIFINAL 2
LIKE: When the school shooter throws a smoke grenade into the classroom and the autistic kid thinks it’s a Disco party. 🕺🕺🕺
DISLIKE: When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say “This boy always had a fat ass”.
Vote for the better joke.