Humor

What do you call a prostitute weed dealer?

A pot-hole.

You know you have twisted humor when you crack a smile when a Minecraft farmer says he separates the white sheep from the colored ones.

Four kids at my school tried suicide and failed. They are now known as the Suicide Squad.

Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin."

Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night."

Kid 1: "As if."

Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister."

Kid 1: "I don't have a sister."

Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."

What’s long, white, and full of cream? A cheese stick.

MU, I love your joke, but I cut myself a piece of cake, pie, steak, cheesecake, and anything else I can find.

Why do priests dunk babies in water at their baptism? Because it's important to wash your sex toys.

Wanna hear a joke? Just look in the mirror, the joke's there!

Teacher: Why did you throw paper airplanes at the twin sisters?

Me: You wouldn't get it.

Stephen Hawking once stood up to bow down to Chuck Norris.

What do you call a Chinese person with no legs?

Lim Ping.

Joe Mama so weird, she cut her hair in a squiggly diggly haircut.

I told a joke and someone said, "no one asked." Then I said, "no one would care to even ask."

A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.

What's your mom on?

Deez nuts!

Chuck Norris is the only man that ever had sex with my wife and survived. Oh, how did I survive?

Fortunately, being her husband, I was the one person she wasn't fucking.

You are so ugly, when the Joker saw you, he stopped laughing.

Two wrongs don't make a right. Take your parents as an example.

I was sitting at a bench at the park and saw a lady. She asked which kid was mine, and I responded, "I haven't decided yet."

Dark humor is like water; not everyone gets it.