Cripple jokes

These three men wanted to start a band. One had the idea to call them the Rolling Stones, one wanted to call them the Veggies, the other said, "Let's be the Cripples," as they all rolled away.

If a crippled man told stories about himself, would that be called VeggieTales?

What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? -- The wheelchair.

What do you call a kid having a seizure on a dance floor? An improvement.

Why were Helen Keller's hands crippled?

From reading stop signs at fifty miles per hour.

bradley

What do a crippled person's legs and the Twin Towers have in common? They both went down and never came back up.

What is the one thing cripples can't do? ... Stand-up comedy.

What comedy skill can’t any cripple master?

Stand up.

I ran over three disabled kids.

"Cripple kill."

To the guy asking what joy I find in suicide jokes, the answer is simple. I make suicide jokes to cope with my crippling depression. Must be working, cause I'm still here.

What do you call a crippled man? Alex keating hahahahahahahahahahahh!

What did the orphan say to the crippled man?

I suffer from crippling depression.

I helped my son (who is missing his arms) unwrap his Christmas present. The ungrateful bastard just sits there and cries, and it's a pair of mittens. The ungrateful bastard is just sitting there, crying.

I got my little girl a hand sewing kit for her birthday and she cried. I didn't understand why until I realized that she had no hands to sew with.

My neck, my back, my crippling anxiety attacks.

Why does Stephen Hawking do one liners?

Because he can't do standup.

What do you call a man with no legs?

Neil (kneel)

Someone tracked down a cripple and said, "You can hide, but you can't run!"

What's an edible part of a wheelchair?

A vegetable!