Cripple jokes
What do a crippled person's legs and the Twin Towers have in common? They both went down and never came back up.
What is the one thing cripples can't do? ... Stand-up comedy.
I helped my son (who is missing his arms) unwrap his Christmas present. The ungrateful bastard just sits there and cries, and it's a pair of mittens. The ungrateful bastard is just sitting there, crying.
To the guy asking what joy I find in suicide jokes, the answer is simple. I make suicide jokes to cope with my crippling depression. Must be working, cause I'm still here.
If a crippled man told stories about himself, would that be called VeggieTales?
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? -- The wheelchair.
What do you call a kid having a seizure on a dance floor? An improvement.
Santa gives a boy a bike and a soccer ball for Christmas. This upsets the boy. Why?
Answer: He has no legs. The boy has no legs.
My neck, my back, my crippling anxiety attacks.
Why were Helen Keller's hands crippled?
From reading stop signs at fifty miles per hour.
Why did my dad cross the road?
To get to the nearest building so he wouldn't die in the crippling smoke of the most terrifying and only terrorist attack on American soil.
The Twin Towers are like crippled legs; once they break, they can’t be fixed.
What's an edible part of a wheelchair?
A vegetable!
Why does Stephen Hawking do one liners?
Because he can't do standup.
These three men wanted to start a band. One had the idea to call them the Rolling Stones, one wanted to call them the Veggies, the other said, "Let's be the Cripples," as they all rolled away.
I got my little girl a hand sewing kit for her birthday and she cried. I didn't understand why until I realized that she had no hands to sew with.
I ran over three disabled kids.
"Cripple kill."
How did Stephen Hawking die? He lost internet connection.
What comedy skill can’t any cripple master?
Stand up.
What did the orphan say to the crippled man?
I suffer from crippling depression.