Humor

Imagine this: You're at math class. The teacher asks you, "What's 11 * 11?" You say, "120." The teacher says, "Wrong!" You say, "How off was I?" The teacher says, "1."

Me rn: REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE WHERES THE RAGE TABLE or something like that.

My friend and I were joking about a kid in a wheelchair, and another kid came up and said to the wheelchair kid, "You should stand up for yourself."

Son: “Dad, did you get the results of the DNA test back?”

Dad: “Call me George.”

What do you call Indian dhal that is delicious?

Well, that is DHALicious!

If someone is bullying you for being fat, remember, you're the bigger person, a MUCH bigger person.

Why are chickens so funny? Because...

Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police... Who? It's the police, let me in so I can get some donuts!

What do you call a girl furry?

A pussy cat.

What do you call it when a caveman does a fart?

A blast from the past!

Opposite day be like in doors.

Figure: Finally, I can see.

Eyes: Nnnnnoooo! I'm blind. Figure, I'm sorry I made fun of you all those other times. Please don't make fun of me.

Figure: Ok eye promise eye won't.

Eyes: 😭

Your hairline is so big, Niagara Falls said, "Oh, looks like we've got some competition!"

I just found out, these jokes are about dead people.

What's the difference between an emo and a banana?

They both hang like apples.

Good morning everybody, well I could say that unlike emo kids.

There are perks to bringing an emo to the grocery store; you can get coupons by scanning their wrist.

If I had a spray can, I would spray it on your ass. Because the instructions say to spray on flat surfaces.

What do you call Mordecai dressing up as a basketball player?

Blue Jay Simpson!

Do you wanna know how I recently seduced an obese woman? Actually, it was a piece of cake.

Me: Mom, the weight scale wants your weight, not your phone number!

I'd make a joke about the chin bones, but y'all couldn't mandle it.