Once I asked Siri to tell me a joke, and it asked me, "What is the difference between a large pizza and you?" One can feed a family.

Mary: If you born pikin (child) inside shop, wetin you go call that pikin (child)?

Mike: The pikin (child) go bear Bishop.

Wanna know something funny? Well, there was this one time when my parents were talking about their marriage.

Then after the wedding, they decided to make a joke, and then 9 months later, I was born. My birthday (4/1/06) April 1, 2006.

A guy was dying after getting stabbed in a church. He said to the priest, "Please say a prayer for me," and the priest said, "I ain’t got nun left." Then he died.

Two balls sit inside a bucket. One turned to another and said, "Hey man, boing, are you sentient, too?"

The other one said, "I’m sapient, you are sentient!"

BOINGZINGA!?!

Mum: If your friend jumped off a cliff, would you?

Me: Oh yeah, no doubt my friend wouldn't even have to jump first.

I once told Siri, "Hey Siri, why am I still single?" She opened the front camera.

Why are orphan weddings so entertaining?

They get to walk themselves down the aisle.

What was Stephen Hawking's favorite childhood song?

The wheels on the chair go round and round.