Humor

Humor

Test

    • Two friends are in a hospital lobby. Friend 2 notices Friend 1 crying.

    Friend 1: "*crying hysterically*"

    Friend 2: "Why are you crying?"

    Friend 1: "I came here for a blood test."

    Friend 2: "So? Are you afraid?"

    Friend 1: "No. For the blood test, they cut my finger."

    Friend 2: "*crying hysterically*"

    Friend 1: "Why are you crying?"

    Friend 2: "I came here for a urine test."

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    • Moron

    • Really gotta love all the morons who, instead of sharing irreverent dark jokes, say the stupidest shit pertaining to Christianism.

  • 1

    • Orphan

    • Why was the orphan so successful?

    Because people always said, "Go big or go home," and he only had one option. 😂🤣

    Coffin

    • Me: Good night, everyone.

    My friends and family: Night.

    Me: *gets in coffin*

    My family: *stares at my friends* You aren't going to do something?!?

    My friends: *to my family* Nope, this is normal.

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    • Split

    • I asked the gym instructor,

    "Can you teach me to do the splits?"

    "How flexible are you?" he asked.

    "Well, I can't make it on Fridays."

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    • Science Teacher

    • I have to say my humor isn't the best, but I'll give this a go.

    My science teacher always reminded us about kilometers per second. Now I want to kilometer per second.

    You know those credit card inserters at Walgreens? I want to insert my credit card on my wrist.

    I'll shut up now.

  • 1

    • Spring

    • These two guys were texting each other.

    Guy 1: How are you?

    Guy 2: I’m great. The weather is lovely here. Guy 2: *sends picture of a flying spring*

    Guy 1: ???

    Guy 2: Springs in the air. :)

    Swing

    • Why did Sally fall off the swing? "Why?" 'Cause she had no arms.

    Why did Sally drop a broom? "Why?" 'Cause she had no arms.

    Why did Sally go swimming? She didn't like not having arms.

    Knock knock. "Who's there?" Not Sally, she hasn't come back yet.

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