Humor
People dream about having a lot of money, but the only thing you should be dreaming about is a hairline.
If you drop an apple and an emo girl, who falls first?
The apple, because the emo girl hung herself.
I would tell you an orphan joke, ehh I’ll just tell your parents instead.
Ok, so I have a joke for you, go look in the mirror and when you realize, come back to me and tell me.
I put this joke so the amount of jokes will be 69. Also, I have 50 kids in my basement. I fed "Twinkies" last night.
What did MLK Jr. say when he spent the night on the internet?
"Last night I had a meme."
What’s the only advantage of being an orphan?
Nobody makes jokes about yo mamma.
Why do orphans have no sense of humor?
I guess they've never heard a dad joke.
Me: Knock, knock.
Another person (OP): OP: Who's there? Me: Hatch. OP: Hatch who? Me: Bless you =) OP: But I didn't sneeze. Me: You just don't get a joke, do you?
My wife told me I could never, ever build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!
What did the cannibal do after eating all the vegetables?
Sold the wheelchairs on eBay.
Tell someone that you're gonna say “I 1 poopoo” and it will go in order of numbers, so they say, “I 2 poopoo” & so on:
You) I 1 poopoo
(Them) I 2 poopoo
(You) I 3 poopoo
(Them) I 4 poopoo
(You) I 5 poopoo
(Them) I 6 poopoo
(You) I 7 poopoo
(Them) I 8 poopoo
And be like, “You ate poopoo??! EWW!!”
What should I write a joke about? Name the subject, and I’ll make a joke about it.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Queen.
Queen who?
You don't know the queen? You're crazy!
Have you ever heard of the Russian politician who was so afraid of the dark that, instead of going to the bathroom at night, he would use a metal tin that he kept underneath his bed?
His name is Vladimir Pootin.
What's the most optimistic blood type? B+.
What disease causes wrinkled clothes? An iron deficiency.
Did you know that you can die from laughing? Well, that’s why I laugh so much.
A missionary went to visit an orphanage in Thailand. After looking around, he asked the manager, "Why do these kids have numbers instead of names on their shirts? And why are some of them the same?"
The manager smiled and said, "Those are price tags."
Your hairline goes so far back that even God said, "I learned about it in my days."
Depresso Exspresso let's be friends, please.