Subway jokes

Jared from Subway. Remember kids, "tuna sub" backwards is what I'm going to do on your face.

An American, a Cuban, a Russian, and a lawyer are sitting on a subway train, in the same seat. The Cuban pulls out a Cuban cigar for each person, and hands it out. The Cuban takes one puff of his cigar, and he throws it out the window. Everybody but the Cuban goes mad. "You just wasted an expensive Cuban cigar! How could you?" The Cuban simply says, "See, in Cuba, cigars are very cheap."

The other passengers are reassured and respond with, "Oh, OK."

The Russian takes out a small bottle of Russian vodka and pours a shot for all the passengers. The Russian downs his shot, and throws the vodka bottle out the window. The rest of the passengers are alarmed, once again. "You just destroyed an expensive bottle of Russian vodka! How could you?" The Russian simply states, "See, in Russia, vodka is very cheap." Yet again, the other passengers are reassured and respond with, "Ah, yes! Of course."

The American scratches his head and goes, "I think I see the pattern here." So he takes the lawyer, and he throws him out the window!

Where are the best shooting ranges in America?

Used to be in schools, but now in subways.

What's overcrowded and uncomfortable?

My mind.

Why do lions 🦁 go to SUBWAY 🥪?

Because they like to EAT FLESH.

People should've recognized that Jared Fogle was a sick offender by one coded Subway sandwich; he normally claimed to kids he ate the sweet onion chicken teriyaki when it was the tuna sub.

Tuna sub was the message of the target to the kid since "tuna sub" put together makes "tunasub" and the truth comes when you spell it in reverse ("busanut")!

Do you work at Subway? Because you turn my 6 inch into a footlong.

Subway trying to commemorate 9/11: CRASH INTO SUBWAY THIS SUBTEMBER 11TH TO GET 2 FOOTLONG SUBS FOR ONLY $9.11, THAT'S 2 FOOTLONG SUBS FOR $9.11 AND WATCH THEM FALL... INTO YOUR MOUTH!

Imagine playing Subway Surfers in real life.

The creator's son tried that!

(My friends said to post this. I accept no responsibility.)

You don't usually see strap-hangers carrying newspapers these days.

But one guy with the New York Times is seen getting on a crowded F Train. He notices a single seat not taken. Suspicious, he gets closer and sniffs it out. The seat is discolored but dry. Throwing caution to the winds, he removes a section from the paper and sets it down to buffer the spot from his behind. He sits down, stretches his feet and yells out: "Try sitting on your smartphones, suckers!"

What is the difference between the subway guy and a priest?

The subway guy didn’t get away with it...

Yo mama's so hot when she walked into Subway she gave me a foot long!

Roses are red, violets are blue,

Jared from Subway touches the youth.

Why don't rappers use the subway?

Because they don't want to miss their next rhyme.

Yo mama so stupid that she thought Subway was a place where you buy subways.