Humor
Wanna hear two short jokes and one long one?
joke, joke, jooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooke.
I have to say my humor isn't the best, but I'll give this a go.
My science teacher always reminded us about kilometers per second. Now I want to kilometer per second.
You know those credit card inserters at Walgreens? I want to insert my credit card on my wrist.
I'll shut up now.
Most people call it grave robbing...
I prefer to call it cryptocurrency.
Why is Jenna Marbles so funny? She lost all her marbles.
She's so ugly, she has to sneak up on a mirror.
Technically speaking, "ur mom/ur father" jokes have no effect on orphans.
Guys, stop joking about 9/11. It's just plane wrong.
These two guys were texting each other.
Guy 1: How are you?
Guy 2: I’m great. The weather is lovely here. Guy 2: *sends picture of a flying spring*
Guy 1: ???
Guy 2: Springs in the air. :)
Why did Sally fall off the swing? "Why?" 'Cause she had no arms.
Why did Sally drop a broom? "Why?" 'Cause she had no arms.
Why did Sally go swimming? She didn't like not having arms.
Knock knock. "Who's there?" Not Sally, she hasn't come back yet.
That’s right, I have my own category😎
Your hairline is more bent than James Charles' gender.
Yo momma's so fat, when she skips a meal, the stock market drops.
When's the best day to get the chair? Fry-day.
What do you call a suspicious dog?
A sussy bark-er.
Your hairline is so far back even The Rock Johnson couldn't find it.
The trip from your eyebrow to your hairline costs $6000.
"Your mother has been with us for 20 years," said John. "Isn’t it time she got a place of her own?"
"My mother?" replied Helen. "I thought she was your mother."
If you run next to a car, you get tired, but if you run behind it, you get exhausted.
I'll be here all week... sadly enough for you.
When someone calls you gay, say:
"I'm straight, straighter than your hairline!"
What is the only place fat people live?
Obi-city.