Humor
What do you call a virgin lying on a waterbed?
A cherry float.
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a campfire and shouted out "Hot Wheels!"
What did the sex offender frog say to the other sex offender frog when a hot frog passed them?
Rrrrrapeit!
My grandmother made her passage on a boat. The thing wasn’t the only thing that went down.
What is a group of singing terrorists called? A Taliband.
Me: Hey Siri, did you know Candice died?
Siri: Yes, I was informed she died from sugondese.
Me: What is that?
Siri: Sugondese nuts.
Yo mama so ugly,
my screen cracked when she took her photo!
Me: The last time I used Duolingo was when the dinosaurs went extinct.
Duolingo: Lemme send my twins 2 go 2 ur houze (I got sideways8 twins)
What do you call a blond with half a brain? Gifted.
Walk up to an emo and say, "I like your cuts G."
What did Mickey Mouse say to Minnie Mouse: "I don't use condoms; I use my drawbridge."
When is a rapist safe around children?
When his plans are oven ready.
Where do terrorists go for a drink?
At the Allahu-ak Bar.
Dark humor is like water, some people get it, some people don’t.
What is a joke that will never end even though you want it to?
For me, life.
A male unexploded landmine was in love with a female unexploded landmine, and he said to her...
"Hey, baby, we should bang sometime!"
What's an Indian's favorite store?
Red Dot.
When God said, "Let there be light," he got blinded because you reflected it off your forehead.
Yo forehead so big it touches yo neck.
I went to visit my friend who is a stand up comedian and I asked him, "Why do you have so much art supplies, clothing fabrics, and building supplies in your basement?"
He responded with, "I don't know what it is people think I need it all for, but almost every time I perform, people tell me I need new material!"