Human jokes

What was George's last message to humanity before joining the others?

"I CAN'T BREATHE!"

The cannibal says to the other cannibal, "I like it when humans fall from the sky because then they are meateor."

Josh Dalton once ate his shoulder.

What do you call a tall person?

A tall person.

Papyrus was playing with the human, but then Papyrus fell and he broke the cell bone of the human.

Why is my pee pee 2 inches in length but 5 in girth?

What's the difference between a baby and an onion?

The baby cries when I cut it, but an onion makes me cry when I cut it.

Christmas. Living proof arseholes exist.

Mom, how were hoomans made? Son, it’s because Adam and Eve were brought down by God and made babies!

Dad, how were hoomans made? Son, us humans evolved from monkeys!

Mom, Dad said hoomans were evolved from monkeys, is that true? Oh son, (ruffles smol man’s hair) your dad was telling you his side of the family, and I was telling my side :)

I would never kill an animal. I'm more of a people person.

What has 2 legs, 2 arms, and an abusive father?

Aaron.

What was Michael Jackson's answer to the parents of the little boys who were left with him when asked why does he do it that way? Tell them that it's human nature.

What's the difference between a skeleton and a baby? I don't set the skeleton on fire.

A man walks into a library and asks to borrow a book on how to commit suicide.

The librarian says, “No, you won’t bring it back.”

These people who are offended by rape jokes don’t even understand humor. They think of humor as like a happy thing because humor makes us laugh and laughter makes us happy, but most of the jokes that we laugh at are filled with pain and suffering. If I take a joke like, how many police officers does it take to change a light bulb? None, they just beat the room for being black. Now that joke isn’t making light of the fact that people have marched in the civil rights movement and people have been racially discriminated against. It’s not making light of those, what it’s doing is it’s taking that pain and suffering and making you transcend it for a moment, and showing the absurdity of the human mind, and that is important. Humor at its best takes the bad things in this world that are painful and hard to deal with and makes it something funny.

And before you go in the comments and say I agree with rape, I don’t. I hope everybody who rapes someone to have their dick cut off. My little sister got fucking raped when she was six, and the guy is lucky he got caught by the police and not me, cause if I caught I would have fucking killed him, so I don’t agree with rape, but I still think rape jokes should still not be taken so seriously!

Humanity.