Biology jokes
Father: "Son, you were adopted."
Son: "What?! I knew it! I want to meet my biological parents!"
Father: "We are your biological parents. Now pack up, the new ones will pick you up in 20 minutes."
Engineer: I know engineering, and my gut instinct tells me to fix it!
Biologist: I know biology, and your gut instinct is full of shit.
Why did the biology teacher break up with the physics teacher?
Because there was no chemistry...
Walk up to an adopted kid and ask this, "How's your biological parents? Are they well?"
They say people are 75% water.
But I'm 100% useless.
Men wake up with a boner.
Women wake up yawning.
Coincidence?
Any girl can be a squirter if you hit the right artery.
What do you call an alligator that can't get hard? A reptile dysfunction.
We need more women in the military! They can bleed for weeks and still not die!
Life is like a penis: women make it hard for no reason.
Why was the ant so confused?
All of its uncles were ants.
Don't let an extra chromosome get you down.
I make science puns, but only periodically.
The lice in your head are starting to concern over deforestation.
Why did the sperm cross the road?
Because I put the wrong socks on this morning.
What do you call a mushroom 🍄 with many friends?
A fungi.
Life is like a penis: simple, soft, relaxed, and hanging free, until a woman comes around and makes it hard.
Why don't skeletons fight each other?
They don't have the guts.
Why was the ant so confused? Because all his uncles were ants.
Why does the nucleus feel trapped?
Because it’s inside a cell!