Human jokes
I lost $10,000, so I killed my piggy bank, so I get a real pig and money which my money is fake, but the janitor said it is real, so I killed myself and turned into a real human.
What's the difference between a human and a tree?
A human can chop down a tree.
A tree can't chop down a human.
"Hey, kid, why are you so fat?"
"Why did you insult him? That's not nice."
"It won't matter, he's deaf."
Orphans are humans like everyone else, so suck it up, rude jerks!
Lucas is a baby, a little girl, ooo!
Memes
A man walks into a bar. The man says, "Why the human face?" It's not funny at all.
What do you call a not potty trained human?
Amber Heard.
You gonna poop someday.
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
It’s true. I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
What do you call a pizza?
Anthony Cahill's face!
Ah, son of a bitch, I got the truth stuck on my shoe?!?!
The truth: Breast feeding is like having long sex with your baby. God dammit, I hate the truth!
Humans. We are the joke. Retards.
Orphans are human, too! They just don't know who their parents are or where! I know four sisters named Mariah, Kariah, Lariah, and Iariah and they said they are orphans, too! And they are sad and they don't like your jokes!
What is the difference between a human and a magic dog? What is a human.
What is the difference between a human and a bird?
A bird can fly and a human cannot fly.
Why did the mailman die?
'Cause everyone dies.
Me: Mom, if Adam and Eve are white, then how were slaves made?
Mom: Well, Eve and the monkey fucked each other.
Me: Oh, okay.
Goes to school.
Teacher: How were humans made?
Me: Eve fucked the monkeys.
Teacher: 😑
What did the turtle tell the man? To keep being 5G7T4IPK24O[\]TWERGWREWGRGR.
I saw a little kid crying because he was lost. I asked him, "Where are your parents?"
God, I love working in an orphanage!
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
I don't know, either. It depends on how hard you throw them.