Human jokes

What do humans and monkeys have in common? They both hang from trees.

How do rapists justify murdering a young innocent human being?

Same way as pro-aborts, by saying "My body, my choice!"

"I created the Human Torch."

Papyrus: Sans, can you call Undyne for me and tell her that I found a human!

Sans: Sure bro, lemme just get on the Tele-bone.

Papyrus: Ssssaaaaannnnsss!!!!!!

Sans: Yea bro.

Papyrus: You know what? I will tell Undyne instead.

What happens when a computer thinks it knows better than a human?

Ask Boeing.

How do you create the world's quickest human pyramid?

Turn on the gas chamber.

If you unironically think someone who killed themselves should have their body in jail, you are honestly such a fucking embarrassment to humanity.

Where is the most dangerous place for a human being to be?

In the womb of a woman who wants to abort her unborn baby. 😢

How many cats are in the human body?

None, unless you're Asian.

What did a tree do for a human rights day at a tree?

I had no time today after a night with you today, but you walk away.

What is the difference between a human and a tree and yyyyy night I can drive yyy earth 🌏?

It's the Olympics.

Q) Why did the man decide not to run in his race? A) Because of Olympiad.

What did the human say to the fly when it was buzzing around the human's head?

"Would you stop bugging me!"

What did the chicken say when he saw a human running around uncontrollably?

"It's running around like a chicken with its head cut off!"

Humans and sharks have something in common: the great ones are always white.

Sun: Hi, I am the sun! I want to warm you up......

Human: :D

Sun: I want to BuRn you.........

Human: .......

Sun: I want to...... KILL...... you.....

Human: I should be going now.

Sun: LET ME KILL YOU!

Human: *Screams his last sound*

What is the difference between a human and a tree?

And walk, walk home, and...

What's the single worst terrestrial species? Humans, obviously.

What is the difference between a human and a burger?

What has tree roots and what do I have for kids? What is the difference between a human and a used tire?

Tree roots are under the tree, and used tires are under the Hummer.