Hows jokes
Imagine getting a call and it says, "Welcome to David's orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may we help you?"
The people in the Democratic Party are how I like my coffee.
Black and bitter.
How many people does it take to change a lightbulb underwater? The results are shocking!
How do you make an elephant float?
One elephant, two scoops of ice cream, and a lot of root beer!
How do you avoid getting raped? Just don't say no!
How did Helen Keller lose her virginity?
I told her the plunger was stuck in the toilet, but she didn’t listen...
How many wives does Santa have?
Ho Ho Ho!
How do you know when a football player has been to jail?
When he goes in a tight end and comes out a wide receiver.
How do butts stay cool in the summer?
They stay in crack conditioning.
The other day someone stole my mood ring. I don't know how to feel about that.
Q: How do you know when an Asian broke into your house? A: Your math homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and 2 hours later he's still trying to back out of the driveway.
How do you make an emo mad at you?
Cut the rope.
I bought a ceiling fan the other day.
It was a complete waste of money.
He just stands there applauding and saying, "Ooh, I love how smooth it is."
Little Johnny walked into an ice cream shop and asked: "Do you have chocolate filled ice cream?"
The man replies: "We are out of that, sorry, we are almost out of every single flavor, do you want me to get you a vanilla filled one?"
Johnny replies: "Sure."
After that, the man asks for Johnny's phone and goes to back of the store. 5 minutes later, the man comes with an ice cream and Johnny's phone.
Johnny asks: "How much for the ice cream?"
The man replies: "Nothing, it's on the house."
After Johnny ate his delicious ice cream, he searched for his watch history. And then Johnny realized the flavor of the ice cream.
Comments of Gwen in her bra!
Jordan Jadoke: Wow such a good looking kid!
Heo: Dude stop! Who the hell got this!
prince/mr tallie: Hey stop!
YOU: Sexy sexy sexxy! How much does she cost!
Kenya Bailey: NOTHING SHE IS NOT A SEX SLAVE SHE IS PERSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fuck u Kenya: SHUT UP!
Big Ideas: Do u think I hav a chance with her? Cause if then SWEET!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kariah: STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mariah: U GUYS EXPECT PRINCE, HEO, AND KENYA ARE GOOD PEOPLE THAT ARE NOT CHILD MOLESTERS!!!!!!!!!!
Hot: 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Fring: I want to take u home all to my self!
How many brain cells does a pregnant blonde have?
Two, one for her and one for the baby.
A man went into a library to get a book on how to commit suicide.
The librarian said, "No, you won't bring it back."
An American, a Cuban, a Russian, and a lawyer are sitting on a subway train, in the same seat. The Cuban pulls out a Cuban cigar for each person, and hands it out. The Cuban takes one puff of his cigar, and he throws it out the window. Everybody but the Cuban goes mad. "You just wasted an expensive Cuban cigar! How could you?" The Cuban simply says, "See, in Cuba, cigars are very cheap."
The other passengers are reassured and respond with, "Oh, OK."
The Russian takes out a small bottle of Russian vodka and pours a shot for all the passengers. The Russian downs his shot, and throws the vodka bottle out the window. The rest of the passengers are alarmed, once again. "You just destroyed an expensive bottle of Russian vodka! How could you?" The Russian simply states, "See, in Russia, vodka is very cheap." Yet again, the other passengers are reassured and respond with, "Ah, yes! Of course."
The American scratches his head and goes, "I think I see the pattern here." So he takes the lawyer, and he throws him out the window!
How do you tell if a loaf of bread has Down Syndrome?
It has an extra crumb-osome.
How do you tell the difference between a Communist and everybody else? The way they are spelled.