Hows jokes
Random guy: Hi, how old are you?
Me: 15
The guy: You're so young, age is just a number.
Me: Do you know what else is a number?
The guy: What?
Me: 911
How much curry can an Indian eat? Until his red dot explodes.
How did Technoblade actually die?
He got stabbed!
Why do orphans not know how to spell?
Because no one likes them, dumb people. 🤭🤡
How can you be friends with a pedophile that's a musician?
B minor.
How do you keep a blind kid entertained?
You take him to a stadium crowd, then give him a bat and tell him to hit the piñata.
How [does] a disabled kid face [the] Jalalas?
He can't run, just hug the bomb.
Hi, how are you? Are you good?
How many degrees does it take to change ice into boiling water?
199, because the difference between -100 and +100 is 199 (excluding the zero, because it's not real and it doesn't exist because it's not real).
Get?
What’s the difference between me and Chester Bennington?
I know how to use an exercise band.
How do you make a blond snowman? You can't, you have to hollow out the head.
How did the air beat me at chess? It did that thing, haha!
How did the villagers identify the masked rapist?
He was the only one in the village who believed the victim.
How do you make a baby cry?
You punch it in the face.
Q: How many dogs does it take to shingle a roof? A: It depends on how you cut 'em.
How do you know a gay guy has been in your house?
There are speedos in the microwave.
How ISS greets their friend.
"You the BOMB!"
A child asks his father, "How do you get pink eye?"
Son, I was told it’s from scratching your butt, then rubbing your eyes.
Then the son asks, "How did I get Fungi?" As the father was about to answer, the boy says, "Ohh, so is it from scratching my stinky feet, then rubbing my eye?" ———-Fungeye
How do you tell when your wife is dead?
The sex is the same, but the dishes pile up.
My dad came over late at night. He was drunk. He started telling me how useless I was. Then I went to the kitchen, grabbed a knife, and stabbed him in the chest 47 times.
Three minutes later, he died. Now I’m losing my mind and cutting myself.