Hows jokes
How many Bay Street bankers does it take to change a light bulb?
In Toronto? One to hold it up and expect the entire country to revolve around them.
How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two, but they're very tiny and we're not sure how they got in there.
How many audio engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
One, two. One, TWO. One, two. One, two.
How many optometrists does it take to change a light bulb?
One (flips lens) or two? One (flips another lens) or two?
How many electrical engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. That is the electrician's job. I am a specialist.
How many software engineers?
Again, none. It's a hardware problem.
How many computer programmers to change a light bulb?
Two, but one resigns halfway through the project.
How are Jews and potatoes different?
A potato keeps its skin.
How do fat people settle arguments?
By bumping into each other to see who falls over first.
How do fat people settle arguments?
By seeing who can eat the most at a buffet.
How many Joe Biden jokes are there?
None, because they're all true.
How can you tell what kind of emo you are?
By how deep the cuts are on your forearm.
How do you kill a tranny?
Misgender it to death.
How do you get a trans woman to commit suicide?
Use he/him pronouns on him.
I love your hair today.
How did you get it to come out your nose like that?
How do you affirm a trans woman's gender?
By kicking him hard in the balls.
How come you never see a broke midget?
Because he’s living in the broke man’s boots.
How do you measure a dog's temperature?
In barking grade!
In geometry class, the teacher went up to the board and drew a 23-degree angle.
She then drew a 67-degree angle. The class was astonished when the angles started talking! The first one said, "That's a lovely blouse you're wearing," and the second one chimed in, "And I love what you've done with your hair."
The students asked the teacher if she knew what was going on. She sighed and said, "Well, these angles are supposed to be complementary, but I guess they don't know how to spell."
How are rape and airplanes similar?
The ride gets more annoying when the kid starts screaming.
How are rape and airplanes similar?
The ride gets more annoying when the kid starts screaming.
Akbar: How many crows are there, Birbal?
Birbal: 8,971.
Akbar: What if there are fewer?
Birbal: Then some crows went on vacation to visit their relatives.
Akbar: What if there are more?
Birbal: Then some came on vacation here to visit their relatives.