Hows jokes
Hii! Oh my gosh. It has been forever! How have you guys been? Comment your favorite movie!!!! <3
How fast did Little Sally paint the barn red?
As soon as the bomb exploded on her.
How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
None, because they're so DARN STUPID!!!!
How do flat-earthers travel?
On a plane.
How does a cow do math?
With a cow-culator!
poor police
Bro never learned how to play Jenga. 🙄
What kind of club is every parent afraid of their kid joining?
The Mikey Jackson club.
How do you spell the name of the most dangerous pedophile?
M-I-C-H-A-E-L J-O-S-E-P-H J-A-C-K-S-O-N
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it!
I'm not sure how I'm going to get to Heaven.
God had not built a ramp yet... or an escalator.
How do you shrivel a dick?
There are three people on the steps of Heaven. God tells them all he is having a good day and if they make him laugh by telling him how they died, he will let them in.
The first one said, "I just finished a long day of work and I get home, and right as I stepped in, I knew my wife was cheating on me. I searched everywhere and I couldn’t find anybody, so I got a drink and went to the balcony, and then I saw him, hanging off the ledge of the balcony. I kicked his hands, but he wouldn’t fall, so I threw a Refrigerator at him, and I fell with the Refrigerator."
God busted out laughing and let him in.
The next person walked up and God told him the same thing he told the other person. God told him that he didn’t think that he could make him laugh more than the first person. The second guy said, "So get this, I’m a window washer on the 8th floor. I’m washing the windows like normal, and this enraged psychopath walks up and starts kicking my hands, and then he throws a refrigerator at me and I die."
God bursts out laughing so much to where he falls off his chair, and he lets the guy through. The next guy comes up and God tells him the same thing he told the last two people, and he tells him that there is no way that he can make him laugh more than the other two did. So he starts talking. "So get this, I’m in a refrigerator..."
What’s the difference between how you watch porn and I watch porn?
The windows we watch through.
How do you make someone in Africa disappointed?
Sing "Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head."
Person 1: How the freak did you get in my house?!?! I locked the door!!!
Person 2: But I'm your mom... I have a key. You dumbass.
How does Hellen Keller meet men?
She goes on blind dates.
How many emos does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None they just sit in the dark and cry.
Why are Mexican families so big?
They don’t know how to put a condom on.
What is similar about the feelings of a girl's birth daddy and her new pimp daddy?
They both worry about how she will turn out!
How do you win an argument against a emo? kick the chair.
My wife called me ugly, and then when she found out how much money I actually make, she called me ugly and broke.