Hows jokes
How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just like hanging in the dark.
How do non-binary people kill people?
They slash them.
How does a rapper pay for his groceries?
With a SICK FLOW of cash!
How do you break up a fight between two gay men?
Say, "Can you get straight to the point?"
When your boy tries to have a bad day while you're on your period:
Oh, you have a cold? How rude of me. I just laid an egg, and now my body is ripping down the walls of my uterus. But can I get you a tissue?
How did "Bloody Mary" become a thing?
Because her husband beat her bloody when she didn't stay in the kitchen.
How does a train sneeze?
It goes, "A-choo choo!"
How do you starve a hippie? You hide its welfare check under the soap.
How do you say "fish" without the "i"?
Fsh
Why are orphans so skinny?
They never learned how to home cook.
I didn’t know how to fasten my seatbelt. Then it clicked.
How did the cookie 🍪 feel when he was dunked in milk?
Batter.
So many things are going through my head.
How am I not dead yet?
"Hey, I heard you were a bit down—where's John?"
"He died."
"Oh, I'm so sorry, but I got you food."
(After they eat) "Hey, how did John taste seasoned and cooked?"
How do you end an argument with an emo? Kick the chair.
Good Lord, any tips on how to kidnap children? I say, "Free candy," and they run.
Kid me: I lost my stick.
Teacher: No, you didn’t.
Kid me: How do you know that?
Teacher: It’s hanging out of your pants.
How did Capetian Hook kill himself? He wiped his butt with the wrong hand.
How to harass? Say it out loud but slowly. Split that word into, and it sounds like "her ass."
What did the plane say to the twin towers?
"Lmao, you twins don't know how to play Jenga. Here, let me show you how!" (BOOM) ;)