Hows jokes
Me when people ask how old my girlfriends are:
"There's 2, there're 4, there're 6, there're 8."
How does the non binary kill white en Amy?
They/them.
How to turn on an Indian: push the red button.
How many people fit in a tree?
I don't know, you tell me.
Teacher says, "Okay class, today we're gonna talk about what everyone wants to be when they grow up." Little Johnny, how about you go first."
Little Jonny: "I want to be a speed bump when I grow up!"
How do you make a body disappear?
You use an axe, black plastic bags, a forest, a shovel, and some ice cream because killing someone and chopping them up and digging holes in the ground and putting dirt over them is a lot of hard work!
P.S., I'm joking and don't condone these actions.
How did the nut study for its test?
It used the inter-nut.
How do you catch an elephant?
Act like a peanut.
How do you surprise a blind guy?
Say, "Surprise!"
How does a train dance?
It bogies!
A man got pulled over, and the policeman had stepped out and said, "Do you know how fast you were going?"
The man said, "I was trying to catch up with the traffic."
The officer said, "There is no traffic."
The man said, "Exactly, that’s how far behind I am!"
How do you kill a sheep?
You lamb shank it!
How did my dad know I was gay?
He stuck his cock in me and I liked it.
Q: How can you tell if a Western is gay?
A: All the good guys are hung.
How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If you woodchuck on the world with that, you have a really deep in, and he says goodbye. When he says goodbye, you're like, "if you."
I constantly wonder how people can live happily ever after, but then I realized that antidepressants don't make you OD.
How can a guy do stand up comedy in a wheelchair?
How do you recycle a condom? Turn it inside out and shake the f *ck out of it!
I didn’t know how to fasten my seatbelt. Then it clicked.
What did the plane say to the twin towers?
"Lmao, you twins don't know how to play Jenga. Here, let me show you how!" (BOOM) ;)