Hows jokes
How are wet clothes and a depressed person alike? One gets hung up to dry, the other gets hung up to die.
How do you make an orphan cry? Ask to go over to his house if his parents are OK with it.
Dawn rises on the Serengeti, and she has no idea as to how she got there.
I was at a funeral for some kids in a school shooting. I don't understand why everyone was so sad, so I asked a lady, "what's so sad?" and she said "What do you think was running through these kid's heads before they died?" I replied "probably a bullet". She gasped and said "do you have any idea how insensitive that is? What do you think is running through their parent's heads?" I said "probably all the money they're losing from this funeral."
How do you make a baby astronaut sleep?
You rock-it!
It's sad how families can be torn apart from something as simple as wild dogs.
Student: There are 505 rocks in a car. If 8 fall out, how many are left?
Teacher: There will be 497 rocks left.
Student: Ok!!
Student: How do you put an alligator in a closet?
Teacher: You can't, it won't fit.
Student: No!! Just open the door, put the alligator in, then close the door.
Teacher: Ohhh, now I get it.
My mom gives me your stuff because you have bad grades.
Me: How about my 5 little brothers? I have A's; he has F's.
She lets him play anyway and I don't.
Me explaining to the school nurse that ice can't cure everything.
Nurse: hOW DaRe yOu OpPosE mE mORtAl!
How many emos does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None they just sit in the dark and cry.
How do rappers stay cool?
They use RAP-SICLES.
How did Caillou quit his party?
He had to cancel it.
Why can't an orphan suck my nut?
A girl can, one knows how.
Looking for true love. Must be into fun, likes to go out driving, playing the latest catching game and most importantly, must love kids. (PEADOPHILES MUST APPLY WITH HOW MANY KIDS YOU CAN CARRY!)
How do you fit 27 New Zealand tourists in a 15-seater bus?
Simple. All in the ashtray.
How's it going @#$!
If you get out of the shower clean, how does your towel get dirty?
I asked a Japanese chef how to make a good bowl of ramen, he said "Let me show you."
How do you turn the Roman numeral IX (9) to a six?
Add the "S."
A fireman, a policeman, and a carpenter went on a fishing trip. The fireman and the policeman both have the same father but different mothers, and they are half-brothers. But the fireman and the carpenter have the same mother and father, but they are not brothers. How is this possible?
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