Hows jokes
How do you get a blonde to drown? You tell them the bottom of the pool smells weird.
How do you spot a cow?
With a bingo dabber.
You know how to draw a horse? If not, look in a mirror and draw what you see.
There was a fire at my high school when I was in Year 7.
When the local newspaper interviewed my teacher, they asked her how she was seeing the "bright side" of it.
She said, "Well, at least our new students got a warm welcome!"
54 students died that day.
Teacher: Tell me about the history of Tsar Nicholas (blah blah blah).
Student: How should I know, that's his story?
Memes
Why can’t I drive? 'Cuz my dad never showed me how, yet.
Mary has a house near a forest. She lives with her bro, and she once asked, "How many trees are there?" Her bro said: "I don't know." She said: "Tree."
Q: How heavy is a photon?
A: It's light!
I searched on Google, "How to start a wildfire?"
I got 39,300,000 matches.
How can you help a llama on holiday?
Alpaca your bags.
Me: I finished a book with 100 pages.
Someone else: How was it?
Me: It's a long story.
How do you call on a mail man who is carrying rotten fruit?
Come post!
How do chemists laugh?
HeHe.
How are women like swimming pools?
They cost a great deal of money to maintain considering the time you spend inside.
One way to not pick up a girl is to say, “Are you an American school because I wanna shoot kids into you?” I tried it on a girl, and she is now terrified to come near me.
How was I supposed to know she was already pregnant?
How much drugs did Charlie Sheen take?
Enough to kill two and a half men.
Son asks dad, "How much does marriage cost?"
Dad: "I don’t know, son. I’m still paying for it."
How is a marriage like a hurricane?
In the beginning, there’s a lot of sucking and blowing, but at the end, you lose your house.
How do you make the grass cut itself?
Make it depressed.
How many CIA agents does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
They don't need lightbulbs--they glow in the dark.