Hows jokes
How come orphans know how to do laundry?
Cause that's usually the mom's job.
How on God's green earth does my boyfriend have a phone?
JK WE NEED TO TALK ILL TYPE THE SECRET CODE (YOU'LL KNOW WHAT IT MEANS.) GREEN PUSSY CAT LIKES BANNANS.
How many emos does it take to fix a light?
I don't know because they never came down.
Q: How do you punish a blind person?
A: Give them a gun and tell them it's a hairdryer.
Me: How do cowboys say hello?
Friend: Howdy.
Me: How do deez nuts fit in your mouth?
How do you scare a lot of people in New York?
Open a mobile hotspot named "Delta Inflight Wifi."
How do you talk to giants? Using big words.
If you get out of the shower clean, how does your towel get dirty?
How can a guy do stand up comedy in a wheelchair?
Me explaining to the school nurse that ice can't cure everything.
Nurse: hOW DaRe yOu OpPosE mE mORtAl!
What's the difference between a terrorist base and an elementary school?
— Don't ask me. How should I know? I'm just the drone pilot.
A student asked a teacher, "How do you pronounce this word? It's spelled A-L-L-I-E-D."
The teacher was about to answer, but then the student said, "Actually, I know how to pronounce it. I lied!" (allied)
Jordan, you stupid ass! Addison never bothered you so leave her the FUCK alone! How about this? Get up, go outside, stop being a jackass, and get a fucking life!
I named my cousin's parrot Michell, and then I started to call Mikey "Mikey", right? I'm starting to teach my cousin Sammy how to say "Mikey Mikey" and he says "mekiy meiky" 😆
How did Gertie Gorilla make the Playboy magazine?
She was ape-ril!
How old do you have to be to drink? Any age.
How many victims does Shaw have?
We don’t know yet. It’s four years and counting.
What is it called when an orphan takes a selfie?
A family photo.
You have been accused of stealing toilet rolls. How do you plead?
Guilty or not guilty?
How do you call a man with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.