Hows jokes
How to cure boredom:
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Boss: How good are you at PowerPoint?
Me: I Excel at it.
Boss: Was that a Microsoft pun?
Me: Word.
How do you get a koala to die? Kill it.
Me when people ask how old my girlfriends are:
"There's 2, there're 4, there're 6, there're 8."
How many Sallys does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, she was electrocuted.
how it started
How do sick Mexicans say hello?
"Ebola."
How did Helen Keller drive?
One hand on the wheel, one hand on the road.
How do you make a cat say woof? You cover it in petrol and light a match.
How did a man know his wife died?
Dishis start piling up.
Hey, you there, were you raised on a chicken farm? 'Cause you really know how to raise a cock!
How does the non binary kill white en Amy?
They/them.
I noticed my friend's hairline yesterday. I could tell it was a Supercuts hair salon haircut, so how I could tell was 'cuz it was super alright, super lame.
How do cats relieve themselves in front of people? By licking their puss.
How do cats masturbate? They lick they pussy.
How do you get a monkey off the wall?
You jerk him off!
How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex?
Call and tell her about it.
Difference between Texas and Flint, Michigan?
Nothing, no one cares how much lead is in those kids.
How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?
His hand caught on fire.
How do flat-earthers travel?
On a plane.
How does a rapper start a race?
With a ready, set, FLOW!