Hows jokes
I bet for Halloween you were a Goblin. How about you gobble deez nuts?
What did the little boy say to the fat man? How many Japs did you get?
No matter how much I love cake...
I would never dessert you.
How do gay guys finish prayer?
“GAYMEN!”
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? That's a silly question. Feminists can't change anything.
How do we get a butt? God made us like that, and we can't change it. If you wanted to, you have to die <:
How do you make an octopus laugh?
You give it ten tickles.
How to know something won’t be fun:
Someone will say, "C'mon, it’ll be fun!"
Me: I know how to use a microwave!
Also me: Mom! The microwave is on fire!
How do skeletons have sex?
They bone each other.
How do you make someone in Africa disappointed?
Sing "Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head."
How did the Skeleton know it was gonna rain?
He read the weather forecast.
How do you think the unthinkable? With an iceberg.
How are you?
One day Little Johnny's class is having an English lesson. The teacher asks them, "Who can use the word intelligent in a sentence?" Little Mary says, "The teacher is very intelligent." The teacher asks them, "Who can use the word fashionable in a sentence?" Little Suzie says, "They are very fashionable." The teacher says, "Johnny, why don't you have a go? Use the word dictate in a sentence." Johnny thinks for a moment and then says, "Last night I heard Daddy asking Mommy 'Darling how does my dictate'"
How to get your woman to come upstairs? Say you are naked.
How is a woman like a road?
They both have manholes.
A drunk guy asked his penis: 《Tell me, how can you get shorter and longer and I can't?》
《Why don't you speak to me?》
《Stop getting shorter and longer or I will choke you.》
《Oh yeah, I like it ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)》
Hhhhhhhhh ♪(┌・。・)┌
How do you know if a rapper is hungry?
They start dropping BEATS at the dinner table.
The teacher asked a young boy in primary school, "Can you tell me the alphabet?"
To which the boy replies, "No."
The teacher then sets his homework to learn the alphabet.
At home, the boy goes up to his mum, who is on the phone, and asks, "Can you tell me the alphabet?"
"Shut up," she replied.
The boy goes to his dad, who just won the footie match, and asks, "Can you teach me the alphabet?"
But the dad is too busy celebrating and shouting, "Hell yeah! Hell yeah! Yeaaahh!"
The boy goes to his big brother and asks him to teach him the alphabet.
But his brother is singing, "I'm Michael Jackson, I'm Michael Jackson!"
The boy goes to his sister and asks her for the alphabet.
But his sister is singing, "In my big red car, in my big red car!"
The next day the teacher asks him the alphabet.
The boy replies, "Shut up."
"Alright, I'm sending you to the principal's office right now."
The boy replies, "Hell yeah! Hell yeah! Yeaaahh!"
In the office, the principal says, "Who do you think you are?"
The boy replies, "I'm Michael Jackson, I'm Michael Jackson!"
The principal now says, "How do you think you'll get away with this?"
The boy then replies, "In my big red car, in my big red car!"