Bloody Mary jokes
Three vampires walk into a bar. The first one orders a Bloody Mary. The second orders a Bloody Mary. The bartender turns to the third and asks, “A Bloody Mary?”
The vampire shakes his head. “Hot water for me.”
“Hot water?”
“I found a tampon out back and want to make tea.”
Your mama is so ugly, she summoned Bloody Mary.
She handed her an application through the mirror.
What's a cannibal's favourite drink?
A Bloody Mary.
Yo mama so ugly, Bloody Mary handed her an application through the mirror.
How did "Bloody Mary" become a thing?
Because her husband beat her bloody when she didn't stay in the kitchen.
Say Fentanyl 3 times in the mirror and you'll see Derek Chauvin kneeling on George Floyd's neck.
Why do vampires drink blood?
Because they can't drink Bloody Marys because they are vampires.
What is the favorite drink of a vampire?
bloody mary.
Any girl can be a squirter if you hit the right artery.
A vampire walks into a bar and orders a cup of hot water. The bartender asks, "I thought you guys only drink blood?"
The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, "I'm making tea."
What is red and tan and spins for about 50 mph?
A baby in a blender.
I like my lovers like I like my whiskey, 12 years old and mixed up with coke.