Hows jokes

This guy came into my library a year ago and borrowed a book named "How to Commit Suicide." He never returned it.

Do you know Stephen is dead? He doesn't have a stone. Do you know how to find him? A metal detector.

How does Moses make his tea?

He Brews!!!

Hi Mom, how are you doing?

Q: How can you spell cold with two letters? A: IC (icy).

Q: What state is surrounded by the most water? A: Hawaii (this is really just a trick riddle).

Q: David's father had three sons: Snap, Crackle, and what's the third son's name? A: David.

I need more webs and I need more supplies for more webs, how do I make them? With spiders!

Gf: Babe, do you love me?

Bf: Count the stars and that's how much I love you.

Gf: But it's morning, sweetie...

Bf: Exactly.

Gf: :0, I'll take that as a no.

You know how you mine and craft in Minecraft, and you chat in VR in VR Chat, but what do you do in Alabama?

Looking for true love. Must be into fun, likes to go out driving, playing the latest catching game and most importantly, must love kids. (PEADOPHILES MUST APPLY WITH HOW MANY KIDS YOU CAN CARRY!)

How did the man in prison escape?

He drew a bum on the wall and slid through the crack.

I know how unicorns make babies. The dad puts his horn in the girl's butt hole.

Teacher: How many kids are in this classroom?

Kid: 73 if you count the ones you have hid in the basement.

How many gears does a French tank have?

One forward and six reverse.

Three women walk into a bar and start talking about how loose they are. One fits a sausage, another fits a cucumber, the third one slides down the barstool.

Nobody knows how bad you smell.

How did the coke seller react when someone told him a joke?

He CRACKed up.

I'm not sure how I'm going to get to Heaven.

God had not built a ramp yet... or an escalator.

How did the Skeleton know it was gonna rain?

He read the weather forecast.

How do you punish a blind kid?

Rearrange the furniture.

How did Stephen Hawking die?

Windows didn’t update in time.