Hows jokes
How does a blonde punish her blind son? She takes away his TV privileges.
How does a blonde punish her deaf son? She takes away his telephone privileges.
How does a blonde punish her paraplegic son? She gives him a spanking.
What’s one thing Obama proved during his presidency?
No matter how far a brotha gets in life, he’s still going to have the cops on his back.
Person 1: “How many ph vids have you watched today?”
Person 2: “Seven.”
Person 1: “What the fuck, dude.”
Person 2: “I know, right? I’ve gotten seven ads for Pizza Hut in the past hour.”
(Based on an encounter I had recently)
How come you never see a broke midget?
Because he’s living in the broke man’s boots.
How do terrorists feed their children?
"Here comes the airplane!"
How do you know your sister’s on her period? Your sisters pussy taste funny
How do you make a baby survive a fall of over 300 metres?
I don't know. I've dropped dozens off the Empire State Building and none have lived.
I learned how to say "virgin" in German: "Good and tight."
How do you know you’re at a gay cookout? They’re putting your sausage between two buns.
Adam and Eve had 3 male children, the only children on Earth. How did they reproduce?
Imagine this: You're at math class. The teacher asks you, "What's 11 * 11?" You say, "120." The teacher says, "Wrong!" You say, "How off was I?" The teacher says, "1."
Me rn: REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE WHERES THE RAGE TABLE or something like that.
How do Taliban parents feed their babies?
"Here comes the plane... weeee, BOOM! 💥"
Flex tape can fix a sawed-in-half boat. Then how the f*** can it not fix the Titanic when it broke in half? Tell me!
Q: How do you turn a cat into a fish?
A: Tell the woman not to wash down there.
Yo mama so dumb, she asked how much a free sample was.
Jeffrey Dahmer likes his men how he likes his coffee: black and ground up.
How do you kill a spider?
Just get an autistic person.
How do you know you had a gay cookout?
All the hotdogs taste like ass.
How do you know you’re at a gay church?
Half the congregation is kneeling.
How do you know someone from India is a good sniper?
They have a dot in the middle of the head.