History jokes

You know how many people said, "This ship will never sink?"

They jinxed it by saying "never sink."

Few jokes (sorry if they have already been used).

1 I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

2 Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Because he always has a great fall.

3 Have you heard the one about the skunk? Never mind, it really stinks.

4 It's always windy in a sports arena. All those fans.

5 What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course!

6 Comic Sans walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your type here."

7 What's the easiest way to get straight As? Use a ruler.

8 Why were they called the Dark Ages? Because there were lots of knights.

Who are the fastest readers in the world?

9/11 victims of course, they went through 89 stories in only 5 minutes!

President Joseph Biden said during the first presidential debate of the 2024 presidential election that he does not debate as well as he used to. Mr. Biden also can't think as well as he used to either, but then again when Mr. Biden was a United States senator in the state of Delaware he never could think because thinking was never one of his strengths and that is the reason why Mr. Biden became President Obama's vice president in the first place.

Oh well, that's politics.

Who's Hitler's best friend? Nazis me.

How does Hitler tie his shoes?

Into little Nazis.

JFK

Half is definitely a bottom.

Why did the Romans build straight roads? So the Pakis (bastards) didn't build corner shops.

The ocean will kill you to death expensively if you're on Titanic. Buying the tickets was a waste of money.

Ever heard the saying white people can’t jump??

Well, I think that’s total bullshit. You should have seen us on 9/11!

How do you make any salad a Caesar salad?

Stab it 23 times!

That is a "Penny-Farthing" bicycle. Dimes if you feed it beans.

What do you call a modern-day plague doctor? A COVID doctor.

Why did Hitler kill people? Because it was funny! 🥵

Jake had sex and broke her hymen, guess he’s Jake the ripper.

Did Jesus die virgin? Nope, he got nailed before he died.

Adding a "gl" in front of "camping" doesn't make it any better.

If you add a "gl" in front of "Adolf Hitler," it doesn't make him a great guy.

My friend is blind.

So he always says he cannot Nazi.

You're so ugly that you and Adolfo Hitler are like twins.

Literally no one: Why can't you hear the pterodactyl?

Random person: I don't know.

No one: BECAUSE THEY ARE EXTINCT!

Random person: Ha, cool, I guess.