History jokes
Scientist time travels into the year 2024.
Scientist: So, what happened with the storming of Area 51?
Pedestrian: Oh, you mean The 51 Massacre?
In the Middle Ages it was illegal for a blind man to become a king.
I mean, I don't see why not.
In our history class we were on our China unit and learning a little about gunpowder.
And I said "WOAH THAT'S LIT!"
Why is the Nazi Anthem banned in Germany? Because Horst Wessel lied.
Yo mama so fat and old, she's the meteor that wiped out the dinosaurs!
In a deep village in Germany, an old man asked his granddaughter, "What are you doing?"
His granddaughter replies, "Removing Polish with chemicals."
Grandpa said, "When I was young, I did the same."
"Popcorn" means "Photo-Oxidant formation by Plant-emitted Compounds and OH Radicals in Northeastern Germany."
"HO" means a woman, in particular one who has many casual sexual encounters or relationships. So basically, popcorn is a woman in plant based sex encountered a lot in a nazi camp.
Christopher Columbus: *Sees native Americans* Can I see your land?
Native Americans: Sure, just be care..........
Christopher Columbus: Boonk gang whole lot of gang shit.
Why was the Roman soldier kicked out of the army? Because he was "Romin" around during war.
You know how many people said, "This ship will never sink?"
They jinxed it by saying "never sink."
Few jokes (sorry if they have already been used).
1 I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
2 Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Because he always has a great fall.
3 Have you heard the one about the skunk? Never mind, it really stinks.
4 It's always windy in a sports arena. All those fans.
5 What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course!
6 Comic Sans walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your type here."
7 What's the easiest way to get straight As? Use a ruler.
8 Why were they called the Dark Ages? Because there were lots of knights.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims of course, they went through 89 stories in only 5 minutes!
Who's Hitler's best friend? Nazis me.
How does Hitler tie his shoes?
Into little Nazis.
That is a "Penny-Farthing" bicycle. Dimes if you feed it beans.
Why can't a dodo fly? Cus it suicided when it saw you will be born soon.
The ocean will kill you to death expensively if you're on Titanic. Buying the tickets was a waste of money.
JFK
Half is definitely a bottom.
Ever heard the saying white people can’t jump??
Well, I think that’s total bullshit. You should have seen us on 9/11!
What do you call a modern-day plague doctor? A COVID doctor.