My friend is blind.
So he always says he cannot Nazi.
History Jokes
Did Jesus die virgin? Nope, he got nailed before he died.
Jake had sex and broke her hymen, guess he’s Jake the ripper.
You're so ugly that you and Adolfo Hitler are like twins.
Literally no one: Why can't you hear the pterodactyl?
Random person: I don't know.
No one: BECAUSE THEY ARE EXTINCT!
Random person: Ha, cool, I guess.
1950: In the future there will be flying cars.
2018: Pewdiepie shuts down Shane Dawson.
I asked my uncle why he was living on the streets.
He said that he wasn't always on the streets, he used to have a job at these two towers. I asked him what happened, and he said two planes happened.
A retired George W. Bush is eating a donut at 7/11 and looks at it. "I'm so happy I did that." A guy overhears the conversation and says, "You're happy you bought that donut? Oh haha, I would be too. I love donuts!" George W. Bush then says, "Oh hahaha, you caught me," and then says, "Oh hahaha, you must have heard me wrong. I said, I'm so happy I did 9/11."
In 1941, Hans, a young German boy, was listening to the radio.
Over the radio, Hitler announced that Germany was now going to war with the United States.
"Father, where is the United States?" Hans asked.
His father pointed at a map of North America.
"Aren’t we currently at war with Russia? Where might that be?" he questioned his father.
The man pointed towards the Soviet Union.
"And I’m told we’re also at war with the British Empire. Where is that?"
The father pointed out all of the territories owned by the British.
"Where is Germany again, Father?"
He pointed to their home country in Central Europe.
Hans pondered this information for a second. "One last question, Father."
"Yes?"
"Has Hitler seen this map?"
What is the difference between me and the Twin Towers?
My mom was only airplane feeding me a spoon.
What's the similarities between the New York Jets and the World Trade Center?
They both fall in September.
9/11 was a round of Clash of Clans; they knocked down 2 towers, not 3.
"That driving backwards, it creeping me out, you're gonna wreck or something." - Lightning McQueen.
Because that is what could have saved Titanic, and it wrecked.
I should probably stop making jokes about 9/11.
My dad died to it, he was a great pilot.
What would you do if you were killed?
Why did the Twin Towers go to Uber Eats?
Because they wanted something plain.
I'd tell a 9/11 joke, but it would crash and burn.
Why is America so bad at Clash of Clans? Because we already lost two towers.
Man from 2001 just called. They want a tower back.
Why were the Twin Towers sad?
Because they ordered a pepperoni pizza, but got plane instead.
