History jokes
Who's Hitler's best friend? Nazis me.
How does Hitler tie his shoes?
Into little Nazis.
How do you make any salad a Caesar salad?
Stab it 23 times!
Why can't America play chess?
They're already missing 2 towers.
Why did the Romans build straight roads? So the Pakis (bastards) didn't build corner shops.
Memes
Ever heard the saying white people can’t jump??
Well, I think that’s total bullshit. You should have seen us on 9/11!
The ocean will kill you to death expensively if you're on Titanic. Buying the tickets was a waste of money.
JFK
Half is definitely a bottom.
What do you call a modern-day plague doctor? A COVID doctor.
That is a "Penny-Farthing" bicycle. Dimes if you feed it beans.
Why did Hitler kill people? Because it was funny! 🥵
My friend is blind.
So he always says he cannot Nazi.
Jake had sex and broke her hymen, guess he’s Jake the ripper.
Adding a "gl" in front of "camping" doesn't make it any better.
If you add a "gl" in front of "Adolf Hitler," it doesn't make him a great guy.
Did Jesus die virgin? Nope, he got nailed before he died.
Literally no one: Why can't you hear the pterodactyl?
Random person: I don't know.
No one: BECAUSE THEY ARE EXTINCT!
Random person: Ha, cool, I guess.
You're so ugly that you and Adolfo Hitler are like twins.
1950: In the future there will be flying cars.
2018: Pewdiepie shuts down Shane Dawson.
A retired George W. Bush is eating a donut at 7/11 and looks at it. "I'm so happy I did that." A guy overhears the conversation and says, "You're happy you bought that donut? Oh haha, I would be too. I love donuts!" George W. Bush then says, "Oh hahaha, you caught me," and then says, "Oh hahaha, you must have heard me wrong. I said, I'm so happy I did 9/11."
In 1941, Hans, a young German boy, was listening to the radio.
Over the radio, Hitler announced that Germany was now going to war with the United States.
"Father, where is the United States?" Hans asked.
His father pointed at a map of North America.
"Aren’t we currently at war with Russia? Where might that be?" he questioned his father.
The man pointed towards the Soviet Union.
"And I’m told we’re also at war with the British Empire. Where is that?"
The father pointed out all of the territories owned by the British.
"Where is Germany again, Father?"
He pointed to their home country in Central Europe.
Hans pondered this information for a second. "One last question, Father."
"Yes?"
"Has Hitler seen this map?"