History jokes

What did the racist Catholic priest say?

"Martin Luther? Not my king!"

POV: You are a passenger on September 11th, 2001, and you see the pilots wearing a Muslim turban.

Yo mama so fat and old, she's the meteor that wiped out the dinosaurs!

"Popcorn" means "Photo-Oxidant formation by Plant-emitted Compounds and OH Radicals in Northeastern Germany."

"HO" means a woman, in particular one who has many casual sexual encounters or relationships. So basically, popcorn is a woman in plant based sex encountered a lot in a nazi camp.

Christopher Columbus: *Sees native Americans* Can I see your land?

Native Americans: Sure, just be care..........

Christopher Columbus: Boonk gang whole lot of gang shit.

Why was the Roman soldier kicked out of the army? Because he was "Romin" around during war.

You know how many people said, "This ship will never sink?"

They jinxed it by saying "never sink."

Few jokes (sorry if they have already been used).

1 I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

2 Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Because he always has a great fall.

3 Have you heard the one about the skunk? Never mind, it really stinks.

4 It's always windy in a sports arena. All those fans.

5 What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course!

6 Comic Sans walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your type here."

7 What's the easiest way to get straight As? Use a ruler.

8 Why were they called the Dark Ages? Because there were lots of knights.

Who are the fastest readers in the world?

9/11 victims of course, they went through 89 stories in only 5 minutes!

President Joseph Biden said during the first presidential debate of the 2024 presidential election that he does not debate as well as he used to. Mr. Biden also can't think as well as he used to either, but then again when Mr. Biden was a United States senator in the state of Delaware he never could think because thinking was never one of his strengths and that is the reason why Mr. Biden became President Obama's vice president in the first place.

Oh well, that's politics.

Who's Hitler's best friend? Nazis me.

How does Hitler tie his shoes?

Into little Nazis.

Why did the Romans build straight roads? So the Pakis (bastards) didn't build corner shops.

JFK

Half is definitely a bottom.

That is a "Penny-Farthing" bicycle. Dimes if you feed it beans.

How do you make any salad a Caesar salad?

Stab it 23 times!

The ocean will kill you to death expensively if you're on Titanic. Buying the tickets was a waste of money.

Ever heard the saying white people can’t jump??

Well, I think that’s total bullshit. You should have seen us on 9/11!

What do you call a modern-day plague doctor? A COVID doctor.

Why did Hitler kill people? Because it was funny! 🥵