History jokes
Imagine if Joe Biden was elected for a second term.
He would be the first president to be assassinated by a slick bathtub.
How did people know the 9/11 victims had a lot of dandruff?
Their head and shoulders were all over New York City!
Why do orphans get confused about ancient Egypt? Because they wouldn’t know what a mummy is.
Ruin a quote by attributing it to the wrong person.
"Don't cry because it is over. Smile because it happened." -Adolf Hitler, 1945.
Flex tape can fix a sawed-in-half boat. Then how the f*** can it not fix the Titanic when it broke in half? Tell me!
How did they know Princess Diana had dandruff?
They found her Head and Shoulders in the glove compartment.
Belief in Egyptian gods is just Ra-ng (wrong). 😁
Your hairline is so far back it was back on before Jesus Christ was born.
Why do people think Mozart was autistic?
Because he was probably retarded.
How are the faster readers in the world?
9/11 victims, they read 80 stories in 10 seconds.
I never make that type of joke. They always seem to crash and burn.
Why are Americans bad chess players?
Because they lost two towers.
What's the difference between Adolf Hitler and Usain Bolt?
Usain Bolt finished the races.
On September 11th, 2001, the New York Giants lost against the Jets.
"Knock Knock"
"Who's there?"
"9/11"
"9/11 Who?"
"I thought you'd never forget..."
why are people in japan so slim? because the last time a fatman came, they lost half their population.
What's the square root of 2001?
9/11
Yo mama so fat, she was the asteroid that killed the dinos.
My dad killed Hitler.
Bully: Ur Gay.
Me: I'M STRAIGHTER THAN THE LINE IN OSAMA BIN LADIN'S PLAN.
Bully: *runs away and hears crash*