History jokes

I ordered my sandwich at a restaurant on 9/11 spicy, it came out plain.

Your mama so old, her first Christmas was the first Christmas!

Look! An ancient African city!

From the makers of Timbukone...

What's a rock band that has four men that don't sing?

Mount Rushmore.

Steel led to World War 2.

You really can't call Stalin bad, just think about the kids that depression.

Why is the Nazi Anthem banned in Germany? Because Horst Wessel lied.

In our history class we were on our China unit and learning a little about gunpowder.

And I said "WOAH THAT'S LIT!"

In the Middle Ages it was illegal for a blind man to become a king.

I mean, I don't see why not.

Scientist time travels into the year 2024.

Scientist: So, what happened with the storming of Area 51?

Pedestrian: Oh, you mean The 51 Massacre?

What’s the difference between Rosa Parks and Muhammad Ali?

One fought for freedom, the other fought for fun.

My grandpa died in 9/11.

He was the best pilot.

My dad was a great pilot...

He died in 9/11.

What’s the difference between a Jew and an American? The American makes it out of camp.

An Aboriginal Australian told me that I was on his farmland.

So I told him he was on my cock.

(I'm Australian btw, respect to my American bros🇺🇸)

"Popcorn" means "Photo-Oxidant formation by Plant-emitted Compounds and OH Radicals in Northeastern Germany."

"HO" means a woman, in particular one who has many casual sexual encounters or relationships. So basically, popcorn is a woman in plant based sex encountered a lot in a nazi camp.

Christopher Columbus: *Sees native Americans* Can I see your land?

Native Americans: Sure, just be care..........

Christopher Columbus: Boonk gang whole lot of gang shit.

Why was the Roman soldier kicked out of the army? Because he was "Romin" around during war.

You know how many people said, "This ship will never sink?"

They jinxed it by saying "never sink."

Few jokes (sorry if they have already been used).

1 I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

2 Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Because he always has a great fall.

3 Have you heard the one about the skunk? Never mind, it really stinks.

4 It's always windy in a sports arena. All those fans.

5 What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course!

6 Comic Sans walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your type here."

7 What's the easiest way to get straight As? Use a ruler.

8 Why were they called the Dark Ages? Because there were lots of knights.