History jokes
Q: Why did Hitler shoot himself?
A: Because his mother taught him to take out the trash.
Why can’t Germans call a taxi? *does taxi calling motion*
Wonder why the Japanese people didn't see the bombs coming?
They didn't open their eyes.
Dear Victims... äh Passengers, we are flying now from Ryadh to New York. Amazing Building... äh Amazing City. There's online, but 2000 there were two Towers... äh Restaurants. We hijack the plane... äh Hi Jack. Jack is my co-pilot, and I said hello. Don‘t scream... History Repea... äh... History never comes back, we are now flying back to the Airport. 💀
My grandpa was the goat, he killed Hitler! 🥳🥳🥳
They didn't burn witches back in the day, they burned bitches.
Why can’t the USA play chess?
Because they lost their two towers.
You know the saying, "Third time's the charm?"
Well, Germany lost twice.
What did Osama get on his test when he was a kid? A 9/11.
I'd make a 9/11 joke, but it wouldn't fly anymore.
And if I tried it, it would probably crash and burn.
It just wouldn't help my comedy career take off.
Jesus walks into a hotel, hands the inn keeper three nails and says, "Can ya put me up for the night?"
Yo mama so fat, she was the asteroid that killed the dinos.
What did the Indians say to the Arabs? "We are going to make 10/12!"
Why can't Americans play chess?
Because they already lost two towers.
Japan takes credit for creating the rice cooker, but they forgot the USA made the largest one in 1945 and sent it to Japan.
Q: What's black and white and red all over?
A: The U.S. in 1919!
How do you embarrass a female archaeologist?
Give her a used tampon and ask which period it came from.
My brother tried to hit this guy with a plane and but hit the Twin Towers.
Why did the rapper become an archaeologist?
Because he wanted to dig for old-school beats!
Why don't you fight a dinosaur?
You'll get jurasskicked.