Height jokes
What is tall when it's young but short when it's old?
A candle or a pencil!
What's the difference between a guy and a woman? They fall from different heights.
You’re so short you would need a lift to kiss your bride.
Well, I didn’t get as high as I wanted to, but I’m high enough that if I fall I’d probably break something.
My friend is so short, whenever I dance with her, it’s like dancing with a golf tee.
The north and south towers got into an argument.
The south tower said, "We will talk about this when we are on the ground."
I saw two really tall guys. I walked up and said, "I didn't know we still have the Twin Towers!"
So you're offended by midget jokes? C'mon, grow up!
Woman: I want a man who is 6 feet and 6 inches.
Man: Is 6 feet and 6 inches one thing or two?
Woman: Two, I want a man who is 6 feet and also is 6 inches.
Man: Shit!
Why did the dwarf laugh when he walked on the field?
The grass was tickling his balls.
Yo mama so short that when she plays mini golf, it's just called golf.
I don't beat up midgets.
That would be punching down.
Why did the rapper bring a ladder to the concert?
Because he wanted to reach new heights in his performance.
Did you know Yao Ming has the biggest penis in Chinese history? It measured in at nearly 5 inches!
Yo mama's so short, when it rains, she's the last to know!
I saw a midget prisoner climbing down a ladder the other day and I thought, huh, that's a little con-descending.
When was the only time you could see people base jump without a parachute?
2001/9/11.
Why did Sally fall dead?
Because she was on top of a tower and fell because she had no arms. Hahahahaha!
What can a dwarf do standing up that a tall person can't do standing up?
Suck a big dick.
Why do dwarfs suck a cow's udder instead of being breastfed? Because they are too short.