Height jokes

Why did the dwarf laugh when he walked on the field?

The grass was tickling his balls.

I went to a tall girl and I asked her, "What do you do for a living?" She says, "An account." So I reply with, "An accounting the hairs on people's heads," and then I run away.

Every time a midget runs on the grass, the grass tickles their balls.

I stood on the edge of a building and someone yelled, "Do a flip!"..... and I did.

My sister is so short she can't walk.

You're so short, Aiden looked tall.

All my 9/11 jokes seem to fly too low.

When I throw a dodge ball at a person taller than me, it's always a nut shot.

Milk makes you tall, right?

Well how did you get tall if your dad didn't come back with the milk?

What is tall when it's young but short when it's old?

A candle or a pencil!

What do visiting Goatman's Bridge and a bungee jumping accident have in common?

You hear a snap, and suddenly you're falling from a bridge.

Yo momma's so short that she fell off the toilet and broke her leg.

You’re so short you would need a lift to kiss your bride.

What's the difference between a guy and a woman? They fall from different heights.

Well, I didn’t get as high as I wanted to, but I’m high enough that if I fall I’d probably break something.

My friend is so short, whenever I dance with her, it’s like dancing with a golf tee.

Yo mama so short that when she plays mini golf, it's just called golf.

I don't beat up midgets.

That would be punching down.

What do you call angry midgets?

Short-tempered.

Did you know Yao Ming has the biggest penis in Chinese history? It measured in at nearly 5 inches!