Height jokes

My sister is so short she can't walk.

What do you call angry midgets?

Short-tempered.

I stood on the edge of a building and someone yelled, "Do a flip!"..... and I did.

Why did the dwarf laugh when he walked on the field?

The grass was tickling his balls.

I went to a tall girl and I asked her, "What do you do for a living?" She says, "An account." So I reply with, "An accounting the hairs on people's heads," and then I run away.

Every time a midget runs on the grass, the grass tickles their balls.

All my 9/11 jokes seem to fly too low.

Milk makes you tall, right?

Well how did you get tall if your dad didn't come back with the milk?

My friend is so short, whenever I dance with her, it’s like dancing with a golf tee.

You're so short, Aiden looked tall.

When I throw a dodge ball at a person taller than me, it's always a nut shot.

What do visiting Goatman's Bridge and a bungee jumping accident have in common?

You hear a snap, and suddenly you're falling from a bridge.

Well, I didn’t get as high as I wanted to, but I’m high enough that if I fall I’d probably break something.

Yo momma's so short that she fell off the toilet and broke her leg.

What is tall when it's young but short when it's old?

A candle or a pencil!

What's the difference between a guy and a woman? They fall from different heights.

You’re so short you would need a lift to kiss your bride.

I don't beat up midgets.

That would be punching down.

Q. Why aren't midget jokes funny?

A. They always seem to punch down.

Did you know Yao Ming has the biggest penis in Chinese history? It measured in at nearly 5 inches!