Height jokes

Why did the rapper bring a ladder to the concert?

Because he wanted to reach new heights in his performance.

So you're offended by midget jokes? C'mon, grow up!

Milk makes you tall, right?

Well how did you get tall if your dad didn't come back with the milk?

When I throw a dodge ball at a person taller than me, it's always a nut shot.

Yo momma's so short that she fell off the toilet and broke her leg.

What is tall when it's young but short when it's old?

A candle or a pencil!

What do visiting Goatman's Bridge and a bungee jumping accident have in common?

You hear a snap, and suddenly you're falling from a bridge.

What do you call angry midgets?

Short-tempered.

What's the difference between a guy and a woman? They fall from different heights.

My friend is so short, whenever I dance with her, it’s like dancing with a golf tee.

You’re so short you would need a lift to kiss your bride.

Well, I didn’t get as high as I wanted to, but I’m high enough that if I fall I’d probably break something.

Yo mama so short that when she plays mini golf, it's just called golf.

Q. Why aren't midget jokes funny?

A. They always seem to punch down.

I don't beat up midgets.

That would be punching down.

Woman: I want a man who is 6 feet and 6 inches.

Man: Is 6 feet and 6 inches one thing or two?

Woman: Two, I want a man who is 6 feet and also is 6 inches.

Man: Shit!

Did you know Yao Ming has the biggest penis in Chinese history? It measured in at nearly 5 inches!

Yo mama's so short, when it rains, she's the last to know!

I saw a midget prisoner climbing down a ladder the other day and I thought, huh, that's a little con-descending.

When was the only time you could see people base jump without a parachute?

2001/9/11.