Account Jokes

Why did the accountant fell.pff his bicycle? Because he lost his balance

The IRS came to this mans house one day and told him to come in the next morning to talk about all the money thats been coming in and out of his bank account. So the man though maybe I need to get a lawyer. So he and his lawyer get to the IRS's office and sit down and the agent said there has been a large amount of money flowing in and out of your account and we wanted to know if you knew anything about it. The man says yes I do, I'm a gambler. The agent says you gamble with that much money. He man says yes, I'll give you an example. Alright I bet you 5,000$ that I can bite my left eye. Agent says alright deal. The man takes out his fake eye and bites it. Then the agents says that not fair. The man says I'll let you get your money back or even more, I bet you 7,500$ I can bite my right eye. He agents thinking I didn't see him come in with a guide dog or a stick so the agent says deal. The man takes out his false teeth and bites his right eye. The agent then says that's not fair. The man replies alright I have another one, your down 12,500$ I'll bet you 15,000$ if you put that waste basket on the other side of the room I can stand by your desk and piss across the room into the waste basket and not get a drop anywhere. The agent says that's impossible you've got a deal. The man starts peeing and pees all over his desk and the agent says I got you, he's laughing and happy that he final beat him, but then the lawyer has his hand on his face and the agent asked what's wrong with you and the lawyer replies the man bet me 100,000$ he could piss on your desk and you'd just love it.

I almost got caught watching porn.My mom got the bill for the account but luckily dad had my back.I mean we do use the same account

Did you hear about the monkeys that share a amazon account?They where prime mates

When people make accounts about you and a CATEGORY

What do you call two monkeys who share the same Amazon account prime mates

hi i am just wondering who went into my account cause i’ve changed my password by the way

I troll under different usernames, I'm abit all over the place mentally.

If anyone's joke here says "burn in hell", I will mimic your account for the rest of your life.

If I fall in love with my depression maybe it'll leave me too- (Took this from my other account @Toby :) btw)

i was in the bank one day and this old lady asked me to check her balance. So i pushed her over

This is the account of music provider just let you I post for the enjoyment of myself, and to spread different l Kinds and types of music willingly I do not respond for the soul reason of ✨people✨ and do not take offense to anything that I post if you have and issues or just wanna talk contact me i'm only discord so that's all you getting (not being rude) ill put my discord in the comments

I wish I could follow you, though. But you need an account so I could follow you. But you don't have one. :'(

Banker: I have the right to take your money! Me: Check my name Banker: Robin D. Bank, why?

Banker: realizes Me:😈🖐️ gimme gimme

It's funny dating someone smarter than you, my girlfriend knows how to push my buttons but never takes into account what a dick I can be if need be, let me explain, say for example she calls me retarded, I remind her that she's dating me.

my username good

I went to a tall girl and i asked her ̈ what do you do for a living? ̈ she says ̈ an account. ̈ so i reply with ̈ an accounting the hairs on peoples heads. ̈ and then i run away