Why did the accountant fell.pff his bicycle? Because he lost his balance
The IRS came to this man's house one day and told him to come in the next morning to talk about all the money that's been coming in and out of his bank account. So the man thought, "Maybe I need to get a lawyer." So he and his lawyer get to the IRS's office and sit down, and the agent said, "There has been a large amount of money flowing in and out of your account, and we wanted to know if you knew anything about it." The man says, "Yes, I do. I'm a gambler." The agent says, "You gamble with that much money?" The man says, "Yes, I'll give you an example. Alright, I bet you $5,000 that I can bite my left eye." Agent says, "Alright, deal." The man takes out his fake eye and bites it. Then the agent says, "That's not fair." The man says, "I'll let you get your money back, or even more. I bet you $7,500 I can bite my right eye." The agent, thinking, "I didn't see him come in with a guide dog or a stick," so the agent says, "Deal." The man takes out his false teeth and bites his right eye. The agent then says, "That's not fair." The man replies, "Alright, I have another one. You're down $12,500. I'll bet you $15,000, if you put that waste basket on the other side of the room, I can stand by your desk and piss across the room into the waste basket and not get a drop anywhere." The agent says, "That's impossible, you've got a deal." The man starts peeing and pees all over his desk, and the agent says, "I got you!" He's laughing and happy that he finally beat him, but then the lawyer has his hand on his face, and the agent asked, "What's wrong with you?" and the lawyer replies, "The man bet me $100,000 he could piss on your desk, and you'd just love it."
I almost got caught watching porn. My mom got the bill for the account, but luckily dad had my back. I mean, we do use the same account.
Did you hear about the monkeys that share an Amazon account? They were prime mates.
When people make accounts about you and a category.
What do you call two monkeys who share the same Amazon account? Prime mates.
Whoever stole my Microsoft Office account, I'll make you pay. You have my word!
Hi, I am just wondering who went into my account, 'cause I've changed my password, by the way.
I troll under different usernames. I'm a bit all over the place mentally.
You're so bald that your hairline is receding faster than my bank account after a trip to Las Vegas.
User name is Nico Belick.
If I fall in love with my depression maybe it'll leave me too- (Took this from my other account @Toby :) btw)
If anyone's joke here says "burn in hell," I will mimic your account for the rest of your life.
i was in the bank one day and this old lady asked me to check her balance. So i pushed her over
This is the account of music provider just let you I post for the enjoyment of myself, and to spread different kinds and types of music willingly. I do not respond for the soul reason of ✨people✨ and do not take offense to anything that I post. If you have and issues or just wanna talk contact me i'm only discord so that's all you getting (not being rude) ill put my discord in the comments.
I wish I could follow you, though.
But you need an account so I could follow you, but you don't have one. :'(
Banker: I have the right to take your money!
Me: Check my name.
Banker: Robin D. Bank, why?
Banker: *realizes*
Me: 😈🖐️ Gimme, gimme.
It's funny dating someone smarter than you, my girlfriend knows how to push my buttons but never takes into account what a dick I can be if need be, let me explain, say for example she calls me retarded, I remind her that she's dating me.
my username good
What do you get when you cross a rapper with an accountant?
A MONEY MANAGER who counts BARS
