Height jokes
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
The dwarf who couldn’t reach the doorbell.
Why don’t midgets wear tampons?
Because they’ll trip over the string.
Q. Why aren't midget jokes funny?
A. They always seem to punch down.
When a midget smokes weed, does it get medium?
Did you hear about the lesbian midget? She probably came out of the cabinet.
How do you piss off a midget?
Give them a yo-yo and tell them to play with it.
I don't beat up midgets.
That would be punching down.
If you give a dwarf 5-Hour Energy, will it become 2.5-hour Energy?
My mom told me yesterday that in this Valentine, we should take our love to new heights. So tomorrow I'm prepared to fuck her in "The Hot Seat" position.
Sophia matched with a midget on Tinder.
Midget: Hey! What’s up?
Sophia: Well technically everything is, from your perspective!
Why aren’t short people allowed to be mentors?
Because you can’t look up to them.
My friend said she wanted to fly, so I pushed her off a building.
Why should you never make height jokes about dwarfs?
It goes right over their head.
I don’t like to make jokes around dwarfs.
Simply because they look up to me.
Why do dwarfs do drugs?
To get high.
Woman: I want a man who is 6 feet and 6 inches.
Man: Is 6 feet and 6 inches one thing or two?
Woman: Two, I want a man who is 6 feet and also is 6 inches.
Man: Shit!
Why do women hate having sex with midgets?
Because of their shortcomings.
Why did the short person bring a ladder to the bar?
Because they heard the drinks were on the house!
Why did the short person become a chef?
Because they could "microwave" dinner without needing a stool!
Why did the rapper become a pilot?
Because he wanted to take his flow to new heights!