My mom told me yesterday that in this Valentine, we should take our love to new heights. So tomorrow I'm prepared to fuck her in "The Hot Seat" position.
Sophia matched with a midget on Tinder.
Midget: Hey! What’s up?
Sophia: Well technically everything is, from your perspective!
Why aren’t short people allowed to be mentors?
Because you can’t look up to them.
my friend said she wanted to fly, so i pushed her off a building
Why should you never make height jokes about dwarfs?
It goes right over their head.
I don’t like to make jokes around dwarfs.
Simply because they look up to me.
Why do dwarfs do drugs?
To get high.
Why do women hate having sex with midgets?
Because of their shortcomings.
Why did the rapper become a pilot?
Because he wanted to take his flow to NEW HEIGHTS
Why did the rapper bring a ladder to the concert?
Because he wanted to reach NEW HEIGHTS in his performance
Three men are working on a building site.
Everyday, they sit down to eat their lunch together at the top of the building.
The first man opens his lunchbox to reveal a ham sandwich.
“By god,” the man exclaims, “I hate ham sandwiches. I’ve been working in construction for twenty years, and everyday, despite me telling her how much I despise it, my wife gives me a ham sandwich. If I get a ham sandwich in my lunch again, I will throw myself off the top of this building and kill myself.”
The second man opens his lunchbox, revealing a cheese sandwich.
“Holy crow, another cheese sandwich! I hate these things, I tell you. Everyday, I tell my wife how much I despise cheese sandwiches, but I still get them in my lunch. I’m with you buddy—if I ever get a cheese sandwich in my lunch again, I’m killing myself.”
The third man, having opened his lunchbox, now pipes in.
“I don’t believe it—another tuna sandwich! If I had a penny for every time I’ve told my wife how much I hate these, I wouldn’t have to work on this sordid site no more! I’m sick of it—count me in, if I get a tuna sandwich in my lunchbox again, I’m killing myself.”
The next day, the three men regroup at the top of the building and open their lunchboxes: the first man – a ham sandwich, the second – a cheese sandwich, the third – a tuna sandwich.
The three men exchange solemn looks before jumping in unison from the height of the building.
At the funeral for the three men, their grieving wives turn to each other.
“If only I’d known how much he didn’t like ham sandwiches,” says the first man’s wife, “I always thought he was being ironic!”
“And if only I’d known how much he didn’t like cheese sandwiches,” says the second man’s wife, “I always thought he was being sarcastic!”
“And if only I’d known how much he didn’t like tuna sandwiches,” says the third man’s wife, “but I don’t know what good it would have done—the fool made his own lunch!”
Yo mama so short that when she tried to sniff meth, she couldn’t get high.
lmao why do people think they can fly?
i saw two really tall guys i walked up and said "i didn't know we still have the twin towers"
The north and south towers got into an argument.
The south tower said “we will talk about this when we are on the ground”
I met a girl that was 6'5" and she fell on 9/11 and broke her arm. She really said "oh snap" like a twin tower.
You're shorter than a thumbtack, like, boy, your auntie is probably taller than you.
Why did I trip over your foot?
Because you were so short I couldn’t see you!
What do you call a tall terrorist? Osama Bin Laden.
Your mummy is so tall, she uses the Eiffel Tower as a dildo.
