Measure jokes
Why are fish easy to measure?
Because they bring their own scales.
I'm running out of degrees? I guess I better throw myself in fire to raise my internal temperature (measured in degrees).
Why do people not adhere to the corona measures?
Because they hate their lives and want to die.
Did you know Yao Ming has the biggest penis in Chinese history? It measured in at nearly 5 inches!
Yo forehead is so big, Albert Einstein couldn’t figure out the measurement of it!
Very interesting
Your hairline is so deep that we measure it in metres.
Your hairline's so far back, I use it as a ruler to measure things.
How do you measure the circumference of Uranus?
By the rings around it.
You are so fat that when you go out to check your letterbox, it measures 8 on the Richter scale.
If I measured your forehead, it would be 100,000,000,000,000,000 miles long.
Wanna hear a joke about measurement... never mind, it would take too long.
Sans: “pokes brother with ruler”
Papyrus: Sans, what are you doing?
Sans: Measuring your patience.
Papyrus: Grunts
If you measured your hairline with a protractor, it would show 90 degrees.
Your mama is so stupid, she put a ruler under her pillow to measure how long she slept.
You're so tall that you are a measuring tape.
Yo mama so fat, every time she measures her carbon footprint the website breaks.
What do you call a person who measures air? Airometer.
Okay, boys are known to measure their dicks, but do girls measure their depths?
Why do Republican men hate transgender people?
Because they lost a dick-measuring contest to a ladyboy in Thailand!
What's the easiest way to get straight A's? Use a ruler.