Height jokes
Man: How tall is a penguin?
Bartender: About three foot, why?
Man: Oh shit, the Bible-bashing nuns! I fucking hit one!
Poor car.
I’ll never forget my Grandfather’s last words to me just before he died. “Are you still holding the ladder?”
What can a dwarf do standing up that a tall person can't do standing up?
Give a blowjob.
I remember my grandad's last words: "Are you still holding the ladder?"
What did the minute hand say to the hour hand?
Why are you so tall?
I was walking home when I saw children crossing the street on their own. I went towards him and tapped his shoulder and said, "Hey, little kid, you are not supposed to be walking on your own." The kid turns out to be a dwarf.
I tell short people to reach for the stars.
They are always a bit short of reach.
You're so short, when it rains you're the last one to know.
Store owner: You have to be 40 inches tall to go into the adult section.
Kid: Please.
Store owner: Oh okay, but get on your tippy toes.
Kid: Everybody is hugging.
You're so tall you can go see God, but you're so tall your balls got small.
If you drop something, make your short friend get it.
You're so short that you use a ladder to reach a dime.
Yo mama so short, when she tried sniffing cocaine, she couldn’t get high.
Fact: If you jump off a 12-story building, you will not like the result.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?
Of course it can, a house can't jump.
Women be like, "Don't body shame," then goes to body shame men's heights.
Why do midgets run on balls?
Because the grass tickles them.
Whoever is reading this, I hope you have a good day because I feel bad you're so short.
Dwarf Shortage.
Life is too short, just like me. Get roasted, short people!