Height jokes

Yo mama's so short, when it rains, she's the last to know!

I saw a midget prisoner climbing down a ladder the other day and I thought, huh, that's a little con-descending.

When was the only time you could see people base jump without a parachute?

2001/9/11.

Why did Sally fall dead?

Because she was on top of a tower and fell because she had no arms. Hahahahaha!

What can a dwarf do standing up that a tall person can't do standing up?

Suck a big dick.

Why do dwarfs suck a cow's udder instead of being breastfed? Because they are too short.

What did the minute hand say to the hour hand?

Why are you so tall?

Man: How tall is a penguin?

Bartender: About three foot, why?

Man: Oh shit, the Bible-bashing nuns! I fucking hit one!

Poor car.

I’ll never forget my Grandfather’s last words to me just before he died. “Are you still holding the ladder?”

What can a dwarf do standing up that a tall person can't do standing up?

Give a blowjob.

I was walking home when I saw children crossing the street on their own. I went towards him and tapped his shoulder and said, "Hey, little kid, you are not supposed to be walking on your own." The kid turns out to be a dwarf.

I tell short people to reach for the stars.

They are always a bit short of reach.

Yo mama so short, when she tried sniffing cocaine, she couldn’t get high.

Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?

Of course it can, a house can't jump.

Fact: If you jump off a 12-story building, you will not like the result.

Store owner: You have to be 40 inches tall to go into the adult section.

Kid: Please.

Store owner: Oh okay, but get on your tippy toes.

Kid: Everybody is hugging.

You're so short, when it rains you're the last one to know.

If you drop something, make your short friend get it.

You're so tall you can go see God, but you're so tall your balls got small.

You're so short that you use a ladder to reach a dime.