Height jokes
Why did the dwarf laugh when he walked on the field?
The grass was tickling his balls.
I could never date a midget.
We would never see eye to eye.
A midget had a disease, and the cure was on the highest shelf.
What do you say before you jump off a building?
Parkour!
My friend is so short, whenever I dance with her, it’s like dancing with a golf tee.
Def all moms lol
Why did the rapper become a pilot?
Because he wanted to take his flow to new heights!
A blondie and a redneck jumped off a building. Which one will land first?
The redneck because the blonde will ask for directions.
62 is not just any number, as it so happens to be my height, 6'2", just as 25 is my age on Facebook.
Teacher: "Ok class, what animal jumps the highest?"
Kid: "A leopard."
Quiet kid: "No, it's emo kids. Some of them are still in the air."
Kid: "Broooooooooooo."
The north and south towers got into an argument.
The south tower said, "We will talk about this when we are on the ground."
I would make a joke about short people, but they probably couldn't hear it.
What can a dwarf do standing up that a tall person can't do standing up?
Give a blowjob.
A pilot is having a talk with one of his passengers. The passenger asks, "Why did you become a pilot?" The pilot replies with, "To face my fears." The passenger then says, "You're afraid of heights?" "No, I'm afraid of dying alone."
It's only okay to beat up a dwarf when they walk up to your wife and say, "Your hair smells nice."
You're so short that you use a ladder to reach the potato chips!
Q. Why aren't midget jokes funny?
A. They always seem to punch down.
I was walking home when I saw children crossing the street on their own. I went towards him and tapped his shoulder and said, "Hey, little kid, you are not supposed to be walking on your own." The kid turns out to be a dwarf.
We used to be the tallest buildings in New York...
Then we took an Arab to the knee.
You're so short, Aiden looked tall.
What do you call a FAT Man under 5'9"?
A JUMBO shrimp.