What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say as clients leave?
Thanks for coming!
Health Jokes
Why are colds such bad robbers?
Because they're so easy to catch.
What's the motto for a pizza place that's also an abortion clinic: Your loss is our sauce.
Disabled man stands up.
Blind man: “You can stand?”
Deaf man: “You can see?”
Mute man: “You can hear?”
Disabled man: “You can talk?”
Doctor: “What the actual fuck?”
Other doctor: “FUCK THIS, I QUIT!”
My therapist said time heals all wounds. I stabbed him. Now we wait...
My doctor called me a "psychopath." How dare he?!? He'll pay for this!
*in the hospital*
Paralyzed kid: I'm out!
*walks out the room*
Blind kid: You can walk?!
Mute kid: You can see?!
Deaf kid: You can talk?!
Doctor: Wut the f**k?
What do you call my sister?
Suicidal.
Yo mama's so fat, she woke up on both sides of the bed.
What did the dentist say to the butt?
"That's the largest cavity I've ever seen!"
Why didn't the skeleton play football?
His heart wasn't in it!
A man in a wheelchair and his friend were walking down the street.
Man in Wheelchair: *falls out of wheelchair*
Friend: Are you okay?
Man in Wheelchair: I can't feel my legs!
What is stuck between a doorway?
Rebel Wilson.
What is the difference between eating a baby and a doughnut?
Babies are healthier.
A father of five puts on a gas mask and a hazard suit and walks outside, but before he could make it, his son came and asked, "Dad, what are you wearing?"
The father answered with, "A costume for Halloween."
The child asked, "Can I join?" He said no, for he said it's their last Halloween. After that, I saw green smoke all over the same house they lived in.
What do you call a dwarf with borderline autism? Jimothy.
How do you recover from prostate cancer surgery?
It’s all Depends!
If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world.
What creature takes the most medicine?
Caterpillar.
What is the difference between me and cancer?
My mom did beat cancer.
