Health jokes
Gay is a mental illness.
You're not thinking straight.
Quit making those progeria jokes. They get old very quickly.
I went to a seafood shop.
I pulled a muscle.
I wanted to get brain surgery.
I changed my mind.
Why did the booty go to therapy?
It had some DEEP-SEATED issues.
Memes
lmfao true
What do my little brother and a vagina have in common?
They both ooze blood 🩸 when punched.
A man wakes up in the hospital and says, "Doctor! Doctor! I can't feel my legs!"
"Of course," the doctor says. "I amputated your arms."
What's Juice Wrld's favorite salad? A seizure salad.
Yo mama so FAT... I tried to picture her in my head... AND SHE BROKE MY GOD DAMN NECK!
Disabled man stands up.
Blind man: “You can stand?”
Deaf man: “You can see?”
Mute man: “You can hear?”
Disabled man: “You can talk?”
Doctor: “What the actual fuck?”
Other doctor: “FUCK THIS, I QUIT!”
A woman walks into a dentist's office, sits on the counter, and spreads her legs.
The dentist says, "I think you have the wrong idea with that." The woman replies, "Last week you gave my husband his false teeth; now you can get them out."
How do chickens 🐔 get stronger and stronger?
They egg-xercise every day!
How can you tell an anti-vaccine kid?
It's only got 10 hours to live.
What happens when premenstrual Raggedy Ann gets with the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
A red headed bitch with a yeast infection.
China wants their name on everything but the m.f. virus.
Dark humor is like the plague; everyone was supposed to get it.
Why are you so bonely, my friend? I am at least glad that you are not boneless.
Why is it cold in hospitals?
To keep the vegetables cold and fresh.
Yo mama so old that her breastmilk was powdered. You breastfeed like this 🌬💨.
Imagine this scenario: A doctor walks in and tells the patient that he has all the illnesses, diseases, etc. in the world but cooler like this: "Bumbumbum you have depression, diarrhea, and cancer,... etc."
And then the last one on the list is that he is deaf, and then the doctor shows the patient the list.