Dealer jokes

How does a prostitute make more than a drug dealer?

Because she can clean her crack and sell it again.

What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A hooker can wash her crack and resell it.

I bought some sneakers from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been trippin' all day.

I bought shoes from a drug dealer yesterday. I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day.

What website should you go to to look up LSD dealers?

TripAdvisor.com

What did the duck say to the drug dealer?

Gimme some of that quack!

What do gay men and drug dealers have in common?

They both get a lot of crack.

Your daddy must be a drug dealer, because you're dope.

A black dude hits up a trap house for some crack and Hennessy, flashing his grill and boasting 'bout his gangsta life. The dealer snarls, "Pay up, fool. Or face the pipe!" He shrugs, "I'm broke, n***a." Suddenly, the dealer's ripped enforcer yanks him down, cuffs his hands with zip ties, shoves a vibrating dildo gag down his throat, slaps his ass red with a spiked paddle, then rams his throbbing monster cock into that tight hole, pounding savagely while choking him with a chain collar, flooding his guts with hot cum as he moans, "That's your high, bitch. Addicted yet?"

So I got these new shoes, except they were from a drug dealer.

Now I don't know what they were laced with, but I was trippin' all day.

What do you call a disabled person who deals drugs?

A wheel dealer.

Jack and Jill wanted some pills.

So they went to the dealer; he saw they were kids and said, "Fuck this shit," then Jack rocked his ass and took all the good shit except birth control pills.

What do you call a prostitute weed dealer?

A pot-hole.

What's the difference between a sidewalk, a drug dealer, and a prostitute?

A: A sidewalk's crack doesn't leave an odor!

Mommy, mommy! Are we drug dealers?

Shut up and cut the coke.

What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?

A hooker can wash her crack and resell it.

You look like Megamind, drug dealer.

What happened when the gun dealer found his pistol in his shoe?

He found that he had a piece in his sole!

Why did the duck cross the road to get to his quack dealer?

What’s Whitney Houston’s favorite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!

What’s better than Ted Danson? Ted singing and Danson!

What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!

What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business!