The 30+ Best Neighborhood Jokes

Why was the orphan walking through the neighborhood? I don't know, either. It's not like he has a home to go to.

Police: Where do u live Me: With my parents Police: Where your parents live Me: With me Police: Where do you all live Me: Together Police: where is your house Me: Next to my neighbor Police: Where is your neighbor’s house Me: If I tell you, you won't believe me Police: Tell me Me: Next to my house

I saw a little kid on their bike before. So i ran home to see if it was mine. Mine was still chained up, so we’re good.

Today I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the residents if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door on my face. My parents are the worst.

I told my mother i wanted a brother for Christmas The next day i saw her in the strip club across the street

Shit! My neighborhood barber just got arrested for selling drugs! I've been his customer for 4 years, but I had no idea he was a barber.

Am I the only one who gives people in the neighborhood names they don't know they have? Like "Blue truck dude", "Loud dog guy", "Nice old lady with the rose bushes", "That slut across the street",

Cops go to the hood when the shooting range is closed

2 boys came home for dinner late and their mother asked, "where have you boys been?" 1 of them replied with, "we were all over the neighborhood, we're mail men now." Their snobby teen sister said, "well your not real mail men, real mail men use real letters." Then 1 of the boys said, "actually we used real letters, we found a whole box of them under your bed."

Where are you not allowed to go trick or treating as a ghost? Harlem, New York.

So there's a little girl playing hopscotch at the front of her house while her mother hangs up the washing and her father mows the lawn. She says "Step on a crack and you break your mother's back,". The father laughs, until his daughter steps on a crack resulting in her mother's back breaking. The little girl's father looks in terror, she then says "step on a line and you break your father's spine,". The father closes his eyes waiting for his spine to break, but nothing happens. When he opens his eyes again he sees that he is ok, and nothing has happened to him. Suddenly he hears someone yell out "OW MY SPINE,". The father runs around the corner to see the mailman laying on the floor.

My mom told me that she got a new job & I don't have to leave the house. Then my mom told all my customers are the men that live in our neighborhood Then I ask what is your job call. My mom said job hand, then I said job and or is hand job . My mom said yeah that it. My mom said I;m good at my job that why all the males are always knocking at the door.

I was driving through a neighborhood when I saw a sign that said "autistic child zone". Then I thought to myself Oh shit that wasn't a dog!

Mom:they say our kid neighbor has a blue blood Son:really? Also 2 hour later Son:mom the kid doesnt have a blue blood Mom:son i-

Sorry for my bad english U-U

Do [or "Oh, do"] you know the murderer, The murderer, the murderer, Do you know murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane?

Yes [or "Oh, yes"], I know the murderer, The muffin man, the murderer, Yes, I know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Apparently I'm not aloud home house fires, but the neighbours their house burnt lovely

My mom told me to get a job, so I did. One day my mom saw me I had money my mom ask me where did you get that money, my mom ask me where did you get that money. I said I got a job in the neighborhood. My mom ask me what do you do, so I said when you take showers I secretly open the door, and I let the the guys some ans see you one by one and I get paid for it. My mom said your growing up so fast, & I said back to my mom that is what the guys say when they see in the shower.