Why was the orphan walking through the neighborhood? I don't know, either. It's not like he has a home to go to.
I saw a little kid on their bike before. So i ran home to see if it was mine. Mine was still chained up, so we’re good.
Today I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the residents if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door on my face. My parents are the worst.
I told my mother i wanted a brother for Christmas The next day i saw her in the strip club across the street
Am I the only one who gives people in the neighborhood names they don't know they have? Like "Blue truck dude", "Loud dog guy", "Nice old lady with the rose bushes", "That slut across the street",
Cops go to the hood when the shooting range is closed
Where are you not allowed to go trick or treating as a ghost? Harlem, New York.
Shit! My neighborhood barber just got arrested for selling drugs! I've been his customer for 4 years, but I had no idea he was a barber.
Police: Where do u live Me: With my parents Police: Where your parents live Me: With me Police: Where do you all live Me: Together Police: where is your house Me: Next to my neighbor Police: Where is your neighbor’s house Me: If I tell you, you won't believe me Police: Tell me Me: Next to my house
I was driving through a neighborhood when I saw a sign that said "autistic child zone". Then I thought to myself Oh shit that wasn't a dog!
Mom:they say our kid neighbor has a blue blood Son:really? Also 2 hour later Son:mom the kid doesnt have a blue blood Mom:son i-
Sorry for my bad english U-U
Do [or "Oh, do"] you know the murderer, The murderer, the murderer, Do you know murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane?
Yes [or "Oh, yes"], I know the murderer, The muffin man, the murderer, Yes, I know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane
Apparently I'm not aloud home house fires, but the neighbours their house burnt lovely
Schools in the hood are kind of the same thing I always seem to get shot
I heard that your forehead is so big that you could build a neighborhood on it
2 boys came home for dinner late and their mother asked, "where have you boys been?" 1 of them replied with, "we were all over the neighborhood, we're mail men now." Their snobby teen sister said, "well your not real mail men, real mail men use real letters." Then 1 of the boys said, "actually we used real letters, we found a whole box of them under your bed."
My mom told me that she got a new job & I don't have to leave the house. Then my mom told all my customers are the men that live in our neighborhood Then I ask what is your job call. My mom said job hand, then I said job and or is hand job . My mom said yeah that it. My mom said I;m good at my job that why all the males are always knocking at the door.
So there's a little girl playing hopscotch at the front of her house while her mother hangs up the washing and her father mows the lawn. She says "Step on a crack and you break your mother's back,". The father laughs, until his daughter steps on a crack resulting in her mother's back breaking. The little girl's father looks in terror, she then says "step on a line and you break your father's spine,". The father closes his eyes waiting for his spine to break, but nothing happens. When he opens his eyes again he sees that he is ok, and nothing has happened to him. Suddenly he hears someone yell out "OW MY SPINE,". The father runs around the corner to see the mailman laying on the floor.
My daughter came home from school later then usual I was panicking then at 5:30pm she arrived not walking but in a bus 🚌 I asked where the hell did this bus come from! She said the garage in the alleyway mama I bought it for five gummies and eight buttons you like her she is called belle bus. My face was just:😑 how did u get the bus here she reply’s with a whisper I drove her through five gardens a house and two police cars! 🙃 so that explains why you have handcuffs on “yeah!”
So I'm the Cable Guy around the neighborhood and I do everybody's table so I walked into this one house and I noticed a little kid and the mom was upstairs I was asking where her mom was and she wasn't answering and it looked like something was wrong so I asked if anything was wrong she didn't answer so I kind of raise my voice at her but she still didn't answer and then I realized the hearing aid in her ear
