What mental disorder do all Mexicans have?
Borderline Personality Disorder.
What was the drug addict's favorite nursery rhyme?
I'm a little crack pot short and stout, put that crack pipe in my mouth, sell my body or sell my couch, get that lighter and smoke me out!
How do you lift a depressed person up?
No need, they'll find a way to get on the tree somehow.
Crimes in 2018: assault, murder.
Crimes in 2020: coughing in public.
My fucking balls hurt so god damn bad, oh my god!
One time in my dream, I had a dream that all people in wheelchairs could walk. It was awesome; I could walk!
What is the best way to get gum out of your hair?
Cancer.
What’s better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics?
Not being retarded.
What do you call a downy under water?
Dead fish
What's the name of a cannibal's favorite all-you-can-eat buffet? Planned Parenthood!
How do you tell a child they have cancer?
With a smile on your face.
Friend: Why don't you cut your hair?
Me: Dunno, but I'll probably cut my wrists first.
Your momma's so depressed, she shot herself in the head hoping she'd die.
What's the difference between an abortion clinic and a computer? Ctrl+Alt+Delete.
What do sprinters eat before a race?
Nothing, they fast.
What kind of tea is hard to swallow?
Reali-tea.
What did the chef say to the skeleton?
"Bone appetit!"
My syndrome may be down, but my hopes are up!
What number is better; 46 or 47?
I don't know, ask the kid with Down syndrome.
What is the hardest part of a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
