Health jokes

You have to have real balls to face prostate cancer.

Just not for long!

My friend said, "Why do you have depression? There is so much happiness in the world." And I said, "Why do you have asthma? There is so much air in the world."

Life lesson guys:

Remember, being healthy is basically dying as slowly as possible.

Michael Jackson had an allergic reaction after eating 12-year-old nuts.

How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?

You pay the ice cream man to keep on driving. IDK.

Joe mama so dumb she studies for the COVID test.

When the doctor asks you what your zodiac sign is,

You respond: "cancer."

Doctor says: "Well, what a coincidence!"

Mother: How is my little cookie doing?

Doctor: Your cookie is feeling crummy right now.

Mother: Really?

Doctor: But don’t worry. Things are about to get batter.

Mother: 😁♥️🍪

Doctor: You need new glasses.

Patient: How'd you know? I haven't even told you what is wrong with me yet.

Doctor: I could tell as soon as you walked in through the window.

"Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "What's wrong with me!" "Calm down, calm down. Just pull yourself together!"

What do you call getting gonorrhea from a disabled person?

A slow clap.

Why are obese jokes so offensive?

Because fat people have enough on their plate.

Yo mama so stupid, she studied for the COVID test.

What is the last thing you wanna see during a prostate exam?

The doctor taking off his watch.

My doctor told me I had Alzheimer’s.

I said to him, “I don’t remember asking.”

Fun fact: The body positivity movement is the only movement without any actual movement.

Where do bunnies go when they're sick?

The hoppital.

Have you heard about the movie "Constipation"?

No, because it never came out...

What do you call a disabled person in a sauna?

Steamed veggies!

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got genital warts, Soon you will, too!