Health jokes
Kid with Cancer: "When I get older, I want to be a movie star or a singer."
Nurse: *Laughs*
Kid: "Why are you laughing?"
Nurse: "When I get OLDER."
Proceeds to laugh.
I went for my routine check up last week, and everything was going great until the doctor stuck her finger up my butt. Should I look for a new dentist?
My dad and cancer go into a fight. I never saw my dad after that.
Michael Jackson had an allergic reaction after eating 12-year-old nuts.
How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?
You pay the ice cream man to keep on driving. IDK.
My Dad:,,Dont Smoke its very bad for your health" Also my Dad:
Joe mama so dumb she studies for the COVID test.
When the doctor asks you what your zodiac sign is,
You respond: "cancer."
Doctor says: "Well, what a coincidence!"
My friend said, "Why do you have depression? There is so much happiness in the world." And I said, "Why do you have asthma? There is so much air in the world."
You have to have real balls to face prostate cancer.
Just not for long!
Doctor: You need new glasses.
Patient: How'd you know? I haven't even told you what is wrong with me yet.
Doctor: I could tell as soon as you walked in through the window.
Why are ant colonies very healthy? Because they have lots of antibodies.
"Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "What's wrong with me!" "Calm down, calm down. Just pull yourself together!"
A woman is in the hospital giving birth. The doctor comes up to her afterwards.
Dr: "I'm sorry, I have good news and bad news."
Woman: "What's the bad news?"
Dr: "Your baby is Ginger!"
Woman: "Ok, so what's the good news?"
Dr: "It's dead!"
My doctor told me I had Alzheimer’s.
I said to him, “I don’t remember asking.”
I told myself I needed to stop drinking so much. But I'm not about to start listening to some drunk weirdo who talks to themself.
Yo mama so stupid, she studied for the COVID test.
What is the last thing you wanna see during a prostate exam?
The doctor taking off his watch.
The doctor said he had good news and bad news. The good news is that you have 24 hours to live. The bad news is, I forgot to call you yesterday.
Q: What will we give to a sick lemon?
A: Lemon aid.
Mother: How is my little cookie doing?
Doctor: Your cookie is feeling crummy right now.
Mother: Really?
Doctor: But don’t worry. Things are about to get batter.
Mother: 😁♥️🍪