Health jokes
When did I realize COVID was serious?
When I saw your teeth social distancing.
1: I wish my cancer could kill me quicker so I don't have to do this class anymore.
2: I'm dying, finally.
3: I'm sorry, I can't go to your party because I'm expected to be dead by then.
On a serious note, I might actually have cancer and I'm getting checks. I hope for the best :/
He: "Do you smoke after sex?"
She: "I don't know. I've never looked."
What is the difference between a wheelchair and a walker?
I went for my routine check up last week, and everything was going great until the doctor stuck her finger up my butt. Should I look for a new dentist?
Kid with Cancer: "When I get older, I want to be a movie star or a singer."
Nurse: *Laughs*
Kid: "Why are you laughing?"
Nurse: "When I get OLDER."
Proceeds to laugh.
My dad and cancer go into a fight. I never saw my dad after that.
My doctor told me I had Alzheimer’s.
I said to him, “I don’t remember asking.”
Yo mama so stupid, she studied for the COVID test.
I told myself I needed to stop drinking so much. But I'm not about to start listening to some drunk weirdo who talks to themself.
What is the last thing you wanna see during a prostate exam?
The doctor taking off his watch.
Why don’t some couples go to the gym?
Because some relationships don’t work out.
The doctor said he had good news and bad news. The good news is that you have 24 hours to live. The bad news is, I forgot to call you yesterday.
"Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "What's wrong with me!" "Calm down, calm down. Just pull yourself together!"
Q: What will we give to a sick lemon?
A: Lemon aid.
Mother: How is my little cookie doing?
Doctor: Your cookie is feeling crummy right now.
Mother: Really?
Doctor: But don’t worry. Things are about to get batter.
Mother: 😁♥️🍪
You have to have real balls to face prostate cancer.
Just not for long!
Michael Jackson had an allergic reaction after eating 12-year-old nuts.
A woman is in the hospital giving birth. The doctor comes up to her afterwards.
Dr: "I'm sorry, I have good news and bad news."
Woman: "What's the bad news?"
Dr: "Your baby is Ginger!"
Woman: "Ok, so what's the good news?"
Dr: "It's dead!"
Joe mama so dumb she studies for the COVID test.