Health jokes
Joe mama so dumb she studies for the COVID test.
Q: What will we give to a sick lemon?
A: Lemon aid.
You have to have real balls to face prostate cancer.
Just not for long!
My friend said, "Why do you have depression? There is so much happiness in the world." And I said, "Why do you have asthma? There is so much air in the world."
Doctor: You need new glasses.
Patient: How'd you know? I haven't even told you what is wrong with me yet.
Doctor: I could tell as soon as you walked in through the window.
Mother: How is my little cookie doing?
Doctor: Your cookie is feeling crummy right now.
Mother: Really?
Doctor: But don’t worry. Things are about to get batter.
Mother: 😁♥️🍪
"Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "What's wrong with me!" "Calm down, calm down. Just pull yourself together!"
Where do bunnies go when they're sick?
The hoppital.
Fun fact: The body positivity movement is the only movement without any actual movement.
Never break someone's heart, they only have one. Break their bones instead, they have 206 of them.
Have you heard about the movie "Constipation"?
No, because it never came out...
What do you call a disabled person in a sauna?
Steamed veggies!
What's the difference between my arm and legs? Nothing. I slit both of them.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got genital warts, Soon you will, too!
What's the hardest part to eat of a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
I'm so skinny, I could use floss as a noose.
What's the best time to hang out with an Indian? When your nose is clogged.
So, I was fucking this bitch, right, and I thought I had AIDS.
So I go and get tested. Turns out I did get AIDS. Now what I'm wondering is where the hell does an eight-year-old get AIDS?! I guess my sister needs new friends...
Why does the orange 🍊 beat the other fruits 🍎 in every race?
Because it never runs out of juice.
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
The baby cries when I cut it, but an onion makes me cry when I cut it.