The IRS came to this mans house one day and told him to come in the next morning to talk about all the money thats been coming in and out of his bank account. So the man though maybe I need to get a lawyer. So he and his lawyer get to the IRS’s office and sit down and the agent said there has been a large amount of money flowing in and out of your account and we wanted to know if you knew anything about it. The man says yes I do, I’m a gambler. The agent says you gamble with that much money. He man says yes, I’ll give you an example. Alright I bet you 5,000$ that I can bite my left eye. Agent says alright deal. The man takes out his fake eye and bites it. Then the agents says that not fair. The man says I’ll let you get your money back or even more, I bet you 7,500$ I can bite my right eye. He agents thinking I didn’t see him come in with a guide dog or a stick so the agent says deal. The man takes out his false teeth and bites his right eye. The agent then says that’s not fair. The man replies alright I have another one, your down 12,500$ I’ll bet you 15,000$ if you put that waste basket on the other side of the room I can stand by your desk and piss across the room into the waste basket and not get a drop anywhere. The agent says that’s impossible you’ve got a deal. The man starts peeing and pees all over his desk and the agent says I got you, he’s laughing and happy that he final beat him, but then the lawyer has his hand on his face and the agent asked what’s wrong with you and the lawyer replies the man bet me 100,000$ he could piss on your desk and you’d just love it.
What’s red and bad for your teeth? – A brick.
What’s the difference between $1 Million and Baby Teeth? I don’t have $1 Million in my wallet.
The Wife said “Honey! Do you like my new Teeth?”
The Husband replied “They remind me of stars Darling!” “Yellow and Far apart”
[god creating alligators] God: see that log? Angel:yes…? God: now fill it with teeth. Angel: say again? God: FILL IT WITH TEETH
[god creating sharks] god: ok give them 3 rows of teeth. Angel: seems excessive but ok. God: and make them mean as hell. Angel: wtf y. God: BECAUSSE I SAID SO. Angel:… god: and make one of the types have a hammer for a head angel: why do I still work for you? God: because I’m the only employer as of right now.
(I want to apologize in advance. These are very dark jokes)
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What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick
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I was going to tell a dead baby joke. But I decided to abort.
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Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? His wife is dead.
4.Why does Helen Keller hate porcupines? They’re painful to look at.
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Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
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Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
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I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.
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My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
What do you call a Roman with hair in his teeth?
A “glad-he-ate-her”.
What’s brown and hurts your teeth?
A chocolate?
No. A baseball bat in my hands.
Whats the last thing that went through curt cobains mind? His teeth
What did the mouse 🐭 say when his friend broke their teeth?
Hard cheese! 🧀😂
What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.
There once was 3 men on an airplane and one bit into an apple and said this is disgusting and threw it out the window the 2nd man bit into a banana and said this is rotten and he threw it out the window the 3rd man bit into a bomb and screamed " ALL MY TEETH FELL OUT" and he threw it out the window. Meanwhile, on the ground, a police officer was walking and he saw a kid crying and he went up to him and asked him why he was crying he replied an apple came flying out of the sky and hit me on the head! the police officer said that is weird and kept on walking. Then he saw another kid crying and the police officer asked why are you crying and he answered a banana came flying out of the sky and hit he on the head the officer said this has been a strange day. Then he says a kid laughing and he asked why he was laughing and he said while he was laughing my dad farted and the house blew up.
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
What’s the difference between a baby and a beet?
Beets stain your teeth.
(I want to apologize in advance. These are very dark jokes)
What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick I was going to tell a dead baby joke. But I decided to abort. Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? His wife is dead. 4.Why does Helen Keller hate porcupines? They’re painful to look at.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is. Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life. I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box. My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
What is blue, green, flat and has teeth. The earth but I lied about the teeth
What do you call a Roman with a pubic hair in his teeth?
Glad He Ate Her
Iran ? more like tin can cause we’re going too kick their teeth in am I right ??