Health jokes
What do a Make-A-Wish kid and mosquitoes have in common?
They both got a 10% survival rate...
Yo mama so fat they faked COVID-19 just to put a mask on her.
If you donate one kidney, everybody loves you, and you’re a total hero. But donate five, and suddenly everyone is yelling. Geez!
If you think the guy calling you fat is offensive,
Try salad 🥗.
Roses are red, give me some limes, boy dies after masturbating 42 times.
They say during sex you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles. Who the fuck runs 8 miles in 30 seconds?
Rapist: "Get into the fucking van!"
Kid: "mi gniog ot tell ym momy"
Rapist: "Fine" (Grabs a white kid instead)
In the hospital, I saw a girl with cancer trying to sleep. The ICU was going beep beep beep. I think that's why she can't sleep, so I turned it off. She's asleep forever now. Nighty night.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had diarrhea.
What do you call an epileptic in a swimming pool? A dishwasher.
Q: What's the difference between an abortion clinic and Uber Eats?
A: The abortion clinic doesn't deliver.
Snow White and the six Dwarfs, Sneezy was caught by covid-19 quarantine!
What's Technoblade's actual Zodiac Sign?
Cancer!
On April 1st, there was a baby born in the hospital when the doctor, out of sudden, directly takes the baby from the mother and smashes as hard as he can to the wall.
The mother crying and yelling, "What did you do? You killed my Baby!! Why did you kill my Baby?"
The doctor just laughs and says, "April, April, it was already dead."
Hahaha
Can't have a smoke with my girl after sex, she's asthmatic.
Plus, she's too young to smoke.
How do you start a dance party?
Go into the PTSD ward of an insane asylum and set off fireworks and watch the magic unfold.
Sally had 69 boobs, which was 222 many, 69,222. So she went to the doctor on 51st street, 69,222,51, who gave her pills. She took them 8 times a day, and now she is boobless.
A man wakes up in the hospital and says, "Doctor! Doctor! I can't feel my legs!"
"Of course," the doctor says. "I amputated your arms."
What do priests give children?
Syphilis.
Getting hurt is a bone-breaking experience. It's such a spine-tingling event!