Health jokes
100% of blind people in Africa can't see. Together, we can stop this.
Bro, you teeth are so yellow that you can't brush your teeth.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Rabid cow.
Rabid cow who?
Hold on, I need to get my gun...
Guess why Stephen died?? Because his wife forgot to put him on charge at night.
Daddy, why is this red soup so sweet?
Because your mother has diabetes.
Memes
It looks like your face was lit on fire and someone tried to extinguish it with a hammer!
Have you heard of the man who got all his left side chopped off?
He was all right.
Have you ever met a kid who’s so fat that they can’t even be accepted to “My 600lb Life”? They need a higher-ranking one!
I talked to your doctor. He said you wasn’t going to make it because your stretch marks look like pieces of bacon.
What’s better than winning gold at the Paralympics?
Walking.
My friend: How are you running so fast? You just had 10 hamburgers!
Me: It’s the 10 hamburgers that are making me run fast!
Why do Asians don’t wear contacts? Cause they can’t fitt.
Five little monkeys jumping on a bed, one fell off and bumped his head.
Mummy called the doctor and the doctor said, "I'm gay!"
Cancer cancer cancer cancer. (joke speaks for itself)
What's the hardest part of a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
My syndrome is down, but my hopes are up.
So, I'm sitting here smacking on some cheese ball BBQ, my titties, and then I saw the most a shoe got shoveled all the way up my ass. I cried, then turned around and said, "MOTHERFUCKING COCK SUCK FUCKIN GAY ASS HOE SHOVIN SHOE'S UP MY ASS SON OF A BITCH!" Then turned around, punched the guy, got smacked in the face, went in for another punch, got smacked in the face, then people staring at me. I said, "WTF are you staring at?" I punched as hard as I can, then got knocked out. I thought this, "This isn't over motherfucker, I'm gonna find you and kill you." Next thing I knew, I was in the hospital. They told me, "Why tf were you fighting a stop sign?" I said, "What? You were fighting a motherfuckering stop sign?" I said, "Bitch, I ain't crazing yo head a stop sign son of a bitch fuck my pussy u must be high! hai es a bitch muhfuhcka"
Mikey don't clean his foreskin dude straight gay.
Friend: I got bit.
Other friend: By what?
Friend: A dog.
Other friend: (Runs away and the next day you know everyone is wearing a mask and the friend gets expelled because of rabies.)
How do people get skinny?
Their parents don't feed them. (JOKE)