Health jokes
My dad said I need to eat more. I don't know why, but his fat ass needs to stop eating.
Did you know some people don't put on masks because they wanna act like something? Some put masks on to show their depression and feeling.
Fat people: Do I look beautiful when I eat a pack of chicken?
Me: Yes, you look like a bunch of boulders crashing into each other.
Fat: Dang...
Me: Shut up, Jon Brower Minnoch.
Yo mama eats so much that she spends her whole life on the toilet.
Bro, you teeth are so yellow that you can't brush your teeth.
A dyslexic guy walks into a bra!
Daddy, why is this red soup so sweet?
Because your mother has diabetes.
Guess why Stephen died?? Because his wife forgot to put him on charge at night.
It looks like your face was lit on fire and someone tried to extinguish it with a hammer!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Rabid cow.
Rabid cow who?
Hold on, I need to get my gun...
Have you heard of the man who got all his left side chopped off?
He was all right.
My friend: How are you running so fast? You just had 10 hamburgers!
Me: It’s the 10 hamburgers that are making me run fast!
What’s better than winning gold at the Paralympics?
Walking.
Well, I was gonna make a joke about drunk people, but that would be good for the health.
Why Cristiano Ronaldo loves oranges??
Because they contain vitamin suiiiii!
Have you ever met a kid who’s so fat that they can’t even be accepted to “My 600lb Life”? They need a higher-ranking one!
I talked to your doctor. He said you wasn’t going to make it because your stretch marks look like pieces of bacon.
What goes in and out and saves your life but is not sexual?
Diabetes.
Why do Asians don’t wear contacts? Cause they can’t fitt.
Five little monkeys jumping on a bed, one fell off and bumped his head.
Mummy called the doctor and the doctor said, "I'm gay!"