Health jokes
Am I the only one here that actually tried to kill myself 15 times and failed every time and landed up in the hospital every time?
What's an asthma patient’s least favorite vegetable?
An arti-“choke”!
You're so fat, when you say the n-word, boogers come out.
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
Because it wasn’t peeling very well.
My dad said I need to eat more. I don't know why, but his fat ass needs to stop eating.
What has legs but can't walk?
Don't know? A paralyzed person ;))
Fat people: Do I look beautiful when I eat a pack of chicken?
Me: Yes, you look like a bunch of boulders crashing into each other.
Fat: Dang...
Me: Shut up, Jon Brower Minnoch.
Bro, you teeth are so yellow that you can't brush your teeth.
Daddy, why is this red soup so sweet?
Because your mother has diabetes.
It looks like your face was lit on fire and someone tried to extinguish it with a hammer!
Guess why Stephen died?? Because his wife forgot to put him on charge at night.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Rabid cow.
Rabid cow who?
Hold on, I need to get my gun...
A dyslexic guy walks into a bra!
Why aren't Down's syndrome jokes funny?
Because the format of them is ugly.
I went to McDonald's to get a Big Mac. It was for his mom cause she was too fat.
Five little monkeys jumping on a bed, one fell off and bumped his head.
Mummy called the doctor and the doctor said, "I'm gay!"
Why do Asians don’t wear contacts? Cause they can’t fitt.
Cancer cancer cancer cancer. (joke speaks for itself)
My syndrome is down, but my hopes are up.
What's the hardest part of a vegetable?
The wheelchair.