Health jokes

What song is sung when conceiving?

"Let's Get Physical, Physical!"

So if I drink alcohol, you're an alcoholic. But if I drink Fanta, I’m fantastic.

Baal jharne ke upay?

Why do people eat bananas? Because it's appealing!

Why did the vampire go to the doctor?

Because of his coffin.

What did the doctor say to the potato?

It told it it had tuberculosis.

Who's climbing the tree?..... Not Sarah.

Who is in hospital?.... Sarah.

I know a little girl who once had an accident. When I asked her what her favorite song was, she responded with "🎶Head, shoulders, wheels, and frame! Wheels and frame!🎶"

An apple walked into the clinic.

The doctor asked what his favorite color was.

The apple said "red." :)

For a while, lead was used in pencils, but... we realised that it might not have been the smartest idea because it lead (badoom ching) to some people getting lead poisoning.

Yo momma so stupid that someone said, "You're not that wealthy," and she went to a doctor.

What do you call an appetite including apples? Appletite.

Errrrrrrrrr my spine doesn't work.

Eeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

I did not believe in COVID-19 until I saw your teeth social distancing.

If an apple and a depressed kid fall out of a tree, which one hits the ground first? The apple.

The kid just hangs there.

How are infants and chocolate alike? They'll both kill your dog.

What is the difference between a fat person and a whole pizza?

Well, a whole pizza cannot eat a fat person.

So, I accidentally just tipped over my paralyzed sister.

My dad died when we couldn’t remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without him.

I took my pony to the vet because I thought he was making a funny noise when he neighed. The vet said everything was okay and he was just a little horse.