Health jokes
Me: I have an arrow in my head.
My friend: What's the point of that?
Me: Of the arrow?
Friend: No!
Me: Probably the flint.
Son: Dad, what are those two huge balloons on mommy's chest?
Dad: I don't see balloons, but I see boobs. I mean, yes, balloons.
Son: Are you sure they're balloons? Yesterday I heard Uncle Frank trying to get a milk dispenser working.
COVID-19. IN YOUR FACE! HAHA!
What is an unborn baby's Olympic sport?
Dodge the coat hanger!
Yo mama so fat, she can't pick up a dumbbell... the dumbbell pick her up.
What is an unborn baby's Olympic sport?
Dodge the coat hanger.
One random YouTube comment in 2018: "Soon, a virus will come to Earth."
A year later: "Pahahahahah that comment is fake lmaoooo ahahahha!"
Another year later: "Time to die a painful death."
Another year later: "God has come with the cure!"
You're fat. Don't sugar coat it because you would probably eat that, too.
It's snot fair!
Why did the skeleton not go to the dance?
Because he had no BODY to go with!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Covid.
Covid who?
The thing that killed half a billion people!
If you get an apple a day, what does it give you?
Worms and rotten fruit.
Doctor, Doctor, I discovered one of the base pairs in my genetic code is erroneously a stop codon?
Nonsense! That shouldn't be happening!
Did you hear about the nurse who couldn’t swim?
She ended up under the doc[tor].
Tired kid with asthma: "It's hard to breathe."
Gym Teacher: "That's alright."
Other Kid: "Hush!"
Keep rolling your eyes and maybe you'll find a brain back there.
When that one night stand says she has AIDS but you laugh, "I choose D!"
She says...wait what?? I have all of the above! XD
What do you call an appetite including apples? Appletite.
Yo momma so stupid that someone said, "You're not that wealthy," and she went to a doctor.
What’s Stephen Hawkins favourite shampoo and conditioner?
Head and shoulders.