Health jokes
What do you give a sick lemon?
A lemon-aid.
I hate salmonella.
It is such a pain in the butt.
Why can’t the blind man see?
He just can’t see. 🫤
Having a stroke?
Stop it!
Period: Guess who’s back... back again...
Me: Ugh, can we not do this today?
Period: I can come back in 9 months?
Me: Keep fucking singing.
What's the definition of disgusting?
Sticking 5 oysters up your grandmother and sucking 6 out!
Q: What's the difference between a computer and an abortion clinic? A: Ctrl+Alt+Delete
What did the old chimney say to the young chimney?
"You're too young to smoke!"
That's not even a bad joke-
How to protect your nuts from being hit: Just get hard.
My sister is so dumb, she genuinely spent lockdown studying for a COVID test.
Ajay's leg.
What do you need an apple because you got an "izzy?"
Keep rolling your eyes and maybe you'll find a brain back there.
Doctor, Doctor, I discovered one of the base pairs in my genetic code is erroneously a stop codon?
Nonsense! That shouldn't be happening!
I always say no to drugs, but considering that I'm talking to them right now, I probably already said yes.
Errrrrrrrrr my spine doesn't work.
Eeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
"Being broke is a disease, stay the fuck away from me."
My friend's man has seizures, so guess who won their breakdancing tournament.
One day, someone's ex was going to the kitchen to get something to eat, and her ex-boyfriend was there and gave her an apple. Next minute, she had chlamydia. What did the boyfriend do?
"I need to go to the doctor!"
"Why?"
"It has a crack in it."