Health jokes
One day, someone's ex was going to the kitchen to get something to eat, and her ex-boyfriend was there and gave her an apple. Next minute, she had chlamydia. What did the boyfriend do?
My friend's man has seizures, so guess who won their breakdancing tournament.
You're fat. Don't sugar coat it because you would probably eat that, too.
It's snot fair!
One random YouTube comment in 2018: "Soon, a virus will come to Earth."
A year later: "Pahahahahah that comment is fake lmaoooo ahahahha!"
Another year later: "Time to die a painful death."
Another year later: "God has come with the cure!"
Memes
So there was this guy who went swimming one day and got his left side bitten off by a shark.
But don't worry, he is all right now.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Covid.
Covid who?
The thing that killed half a billion people!
If you get an apple a day, what does it give you?
Worms and rotten fruit.
Spinach
Baal jharne ke upay?
Tired kid with asthma: "It's hard to breathe."
Gym Teacher: "That's alright."
Other Kid: "Hush!"
Keep rolling your eyes and maybe you'll find a brain back there.
Doctor, Doctor, I discovered one of the base pairs in my genetic code is erroneously a stop codon?
Nonsense! That shouldn't be happening!
Why did the skeleton not go to the dance?
Because he had no BODY to go with!
Did you hear about the nurse who couldn’t swim?
She ended up under the doc[tor].
Hi, how are you? Busy doing right? I just texted me and my dad and walk home from home and walk home and walk walk home.
Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because she felt peely!
What is black and white and red all over? A newspaper.
A man lost his left arm.
He's all right now.
What’s Stephen Hawkins favourite shampoo and conditioner?
Head and shoulders.
Where are fart bombs made?
Old people's arses!